The bar graph below represents data about the clubs joined by people of two different age groups at a leisure centre in a small city.
Sample Response
The bar graph illustrates the number of people from two age groups (25–35 and 55–65) who joined six different leisure clubs in a small city.
Overall, younger people showed a strong preference for cycling and arts and crafts, while older individuals were more inclined towards gardening.
In detail, cycling was the most popular choice among the younger group, attracting 65 membersaround 65 members, in contrast to 10 older membersjust 10 participants from the older group. Conversely, gardening appealed more to those aged 55–65, with 55 membersapproximately 55 members, compared to only 25 younger participants. Photography was equally popular among both age groups, with 45 members eachabout 45 members each.
Furthermore, fitness clubs had the highest number of participants, overall, with more than 100 members, split evenly between the two groups. Arts and crafts clubs attracted 60 younger membersnearly 60 younger people, whereas only 20 older individuals joined. Lastly, music/dance clubsmusic clubs had over 100 members, with about 53 younger members compared with 50 older members.with a slightly higher number of young people participating compared to the older group.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response gives a clear, well-organised overview and accurately covers all six clubs with effective comparisons between the age groups. Its main limitation is a small data-accuracy lapse in describing fitness participation as evenly split, while the chart shows a slight difference. The highest-priority improvement is to qualify close figures precisely and ensure every comparative claim reflects the visual exactly.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response presents a clear overview and accurately selects and compares nearly all key figures, with only a minor inaccuracy about the fitness split.
Describe the fitness figures as approximately balanced rather than evenly split so the comparison matches the chart precisely.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically through a clear introduction, overview, and grouped detail paragraphs, with cohesive devices used effectively.
Refine transitions within the final paragraph so the sequence of categories feels slightly less list-like.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, precise, and natural for chart description, with effective language for preferences, contrasts, and participation levels.
Use more exact qualifying language for close but unequal values to sharpen the precision of comparisons.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of simple and complex structures is handled accurately, and the response is almost entirely error-free.
Polish punctuation by removing unnecessary interrupting commas, such as those around 'overall', to make sentences fully controlled.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The bar graph below represents data about the clubs joined by people of two different age groups at a leisure centre in a small city.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.