The graphs below show the types of music albums purchased by people in Britain according to sex and age.
Sample Response
The charts present data on pop, rock and classical music album purchasespurchase by different age groups of British men and womenBritish male and female. It is worth noticing that rock music is more popular among younger peoplethe young people while classical music is preferred by the Britons over 45 years old. According to the bar chartsAccording to bar graphs, more than a quarter of British mena quarter British males purchased rock music albums while less than 10% preferred classical music. Similarly 168% British womenBritons female purchased rock music albums while about 7%6% from this same category purchased classical music. These data showThis data depicts that more British men purchased music albums than women. By age groupAccording to age group, rock music is more popularpreferred by Britons aged 25 to 3425 to 34 years British who purchased rock albums at about 29%purchased around 31% rock music. These people bought only 17% classical music. Britons aged 16 to 2416 to 24 years old British purchased rock albums at about 32%purchased 29% rock music while their percentage for buying classical music is significantly lowerless, only 1%. Rock music is also more popular thanpopular than classical music among the 35 to 44 years age group who bought 14% rock music albums compared to about 2% for classical musicthe only 3% classical music purchase. But a completely different trend can be observed among the British over 45 years who prefer classical music over the rock and pop music. People from this age group purchased 20% classic music albums while the rock music albums they purchased amount only 8-10 percentage.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response establishes a clear central comparison between younger listeners’ preference for rock and the over-45 group’s preference for classical music, and its sequence is generally easy to follow. Its main limitation is incomplete and sometimes inaccurate coverage: pop music is almost entirely omitted, and several figures, especially for female rock buyers, do not match the charts. Prioritise a balanced overview and selective, accurate comparisons across all three genres.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A relevant overview is present, but the report largely omits pop music and includes several inaccurate or unclear figures, so key features are only partially covered.
Compare all three genres systematically and verify each selected percentage, especially the sex-based figures, against the charts.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information follows a broadly clear progression from sex to age, although the single dense paragraph and repetitive linking weaken organisation.
Separate the overview and the sex- and age-based details into clear paragraphs, using fewer mechanical transitions.
Lexical Resource
The response uses adequate topic vocabulary and some comparative language, but frequent awkward collocations and word-choice errors reduce precision.
Use accurate noun phrases and comparison forms, such as 'British men and women,' 'more popular than,' and 'percentage points' where appropriate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences communicates the main ideas, but recurring article, agreement, plural, and noun-phrase errors are noticeable.
Review articles, plural forms, subject-verb agreement, and age-group constructions such as 'Britons aged 25 to 34.'
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graphs below show the types of music albums purchased by people in Britain according to sex and age.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.