The graph shows a comparison in the pulse rate changes between two different individuals of different ages and professions.
Sample Response
The line graph reveals information about the pulse rate variability by age and professionbased on age and professions of two individuals, namely, that is a 36-year-old office workera 36 years old office worker and a 26-year-old former college athlete.
Overall, the office worker’s heartbeat shows a wide fluctuationswide range of fluctuation over 4 minutes. At the same time, the former college athlete showeda former college athlete saw relatively less variation in pulse ratevariability of the pulse.
Looking at the detailsLooking at details, the baseline pulse ratethe baseline rate of the young man was 80 and did not show a significant change in the first minute. However, after one minute, it rose sharplystarting from 1 minute had been considerably risen to reach the peak ratebeat of 120 at 2 minutes. Then it started to go down slowly and became just above 100 at three minutesin 3 minutes. Finally, it fell sharplyFinally, substantially fell to 60 beats/minute at minute 4, which was less than the baseline.
On the other hand, the 36-year-old office worker’sold office worker’s pulse rate began slightly above 60, which was less than the baseline of the young man, then roselifted slightly and became 80 at the first minute. Next was a substantial increaseincrement to 150 beats per minutejust less than two-fold. Following this, the rate plummeted to 100 over a period of 1 minute. FinallyAt last, it showedit has shown a gradual fall to 80 beats per minute80beat at four minutesat the 4th minute, which is higher than the pulse at the beginning.
To sum up, the young man’s baseline heart rate was higher than the old man, and the former one saw minimal fluctuation of the pulse over the time period. By contrast, the old man had a relatively lower baseline beat, but there was marked variability in his pulse each minute.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response selects the main trends accurately and supports them with nearly all key pulse-rate figures for both people. Clear paragraphing and chronological progression make the report easy to follow, but frequent awkward verb forms and imprecise collocations reduce linguistic control. The highest priority is to describe changes with natural active structures and consistently accurate tense and agreement.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report presents a clear, accurate overview and covers the principal values, peaks, declines, and final figures for both individuals.
Make the comparison even more concise by directly contrasting both peaks and ranges rather than repeating the overview in a conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically divided by person and ordered chronologically, though the conclusion repeats earlier points and some transitions are mechanical.
Replace the repetitive final summary with integrated comparisons at the relevant time points in the body paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
A sufficient range of trend language is used, but several collocations such as peak beat, lifted slightly, and substantial increment sound unnatural.
Use precise graph language such as peaked at, rose to, fell by, and remained above the starting level.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex sentences, but recurring errors in verb forms, articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries remain noticeable.
Control active past-tense structures consistently, especially after time phrases and when describing rises and falls.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph shows a comparison in the pulse rate changes between two different individuals of different ages and professions.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.