The diagram shows the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950.
Sample Response
The maps illustrate the changes that have taken placedevelopment and alteration that have happened at West Park Secondary School since it was built in 1950since it was first built in 1950. The school building and the main road have not changed throughout the years. The houses west of the schoolHouses to the left of the school were demolishedremoved in 1980 and a car park and science block were constructedthe car park with the science blocks was constructed next to the schoolnext to the school instead. Farmland in the bottom-left of the mapat the left bottom of the map was taken over by the schooltaken up by school and converted into a sports fielddeveloped into a sports field for children in 1980. By 2010However, in 2010 the car park was expandedthe car park was increased in size and occupied most of the former sports fieldtook the whole area of the field. Subsequently, as there was a need for sports, the huge area of playground situated at the right bottom corner have been cut by one-third and replaced by a sports field. OverallIn brief, the site over the 60-year periodthe area for the past 60 years has been substantially redevelopedprofoundly changed and optimised for the school's various needsthe schools’ various needs.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The report covers the principal stages of the school's development and gives a useful overview by identifying the unchanged road and main building. Its main limitation is a factual overstatement that the enlarged car park occupied the whole former sports field, whereas part of that area remained available alongside the relocated, smaller field. The highest-priority improvement is to describe the 2010 layout more precisely and organise the overview and details into separate paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Most major changes across 1950, 1980, and 2010 are selected accurately, with an overview of the fixed features, despite one inaccurate claim about the enlarged car park.
Clarify that the car park expanded southward over most of the former sports-field area while a smaller sports field replaced part of the playground.
Coherence and Cohesion
The chronological sequence is easy to follow and linking is generally effective, but presenting the entire report as one paragraph limits structural clarity.
Separate the unchanged features and overall transformation from the detailed changes in 1980 and 2010.
Lexical Resource
The response uses an adequate range for describing maps and change, although phrases such as 'left bottom' and 'taken up by school' are awkward.
Use precise location and change language such as 'in the southwest', 'was converted into', 'expanded', and 'was reduced in size'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of simple and complex structures is used, but agreement and possessive errors appear in several sentences.
Correct forms such as 'the playground area has been reduced' and 'the school's changing needs', and ensure compound subjects take plural verbs.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram shows the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.