The diagram shows the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950.
Sample Response
The diagram presents West Park Secondary School at three different stages in its development: 1950, 1980 and 2010. As can be seen from the given illustration, the school went through different changes. In 1950, the school was built near the main road and near the school, there was a place for housing. An extensive spot behind the school was fixed for a playground, while the field behind the housing was farmland. By 1980, the housing area had been knocked down in order to build a science block and a space for car parking. Moreover, a new sports field was established in the exact area where the farmland was and it is right next to the playground. In 2010, the school's main building and the science block were still intact but the car parking area had been extended and it consumed a great portion of the sports field and playground. During the given time, the area around West Park Secondary School has changed. In addition to a new science block, a larger car park has been constructed and extended. Hence, the spot for the sports field and playground reduced.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. State change directly Original: went through different changes Suggested revision: underwent substantial redevelopment Why it matters: The revision describes the mapped transformation more precisely.
- 2. Name mapped buildings Original: a place for housing Suggested revision: three houses Why it matters: The 1950 map shows three distinct houses beside the school.
- 3. Use map-area term Original: An extensive spot Suggested revision: A large area Why it matters: Area is the natural term for a section of a site plan.
- 4. Use location wording Original: was fixed for a playground Suggested revision: was occupied by a playground Why it matters: The map shows an existing playground rather than an area designated for one.
- 5. Locate farmland accurately Original: the field behind the housing Suggested revision: the area south of the houses Why it matters: The farmland is shown directly south of the houses on the 1950 map.
- 6. Use facility noun Original: a space for car parking Suggested revision: a car park Why it matters: Car park is the label used in the visual.
- 7. Keep past tense Original: where the farmland was and it is Suggested revision: where the farmland had been, and it was Why it matters: The description of the 1980 layout should remain consistently in the past.
- 8. Use former-site phrase Original: in the exact area Suggested revision: on the former site Why it matters: Former site is the natural phrase for a replacement on a map.
- 9. State unchanged features Original: were still intact Suggested revision: remained unchanged Why it matters: The map comparison concerns retained layout rather than physical intactness.
- 10. Use period phrase Original: During the given time Suggested revision: Over the period shown Why it matters: Over naturally introduces changes across the three dates.
- 11. Use completed-period tense Original: has changed Suggested revision: changed Why it matters: The mapped period ends in 2010, so the simple past is appropriate.
- 12. Use chronological verbs Original: has been constructed and extended Suggested revision: was constructed and later extended Why it matters: The car park first appeared by 1980 and was enlarged by 2010.
Suggested Rewrites
- went through different changes underwent substantial redevelopment
- a place for housing three houses
- An extensive spot A large area
- was fixed for a playground was occupied by a playground
- the field behind the housing the area south of the houses
- a space for car parking a car park
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response follows the three maps chronologically and accurately identifies the replacement of housing and farmland, the addition of the science block and car park, and the later reduction of outdoor areas. The main limitation is that the overview is delayed and one description suggests the car park directly consumed playground space. The highest-priority improvement is to open with a precise summary of the site's transformation and distinguish each reduced area accurately.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Most major changes across 1950, 1980, and 2010 are accurately selected, with a useful summary despite a minor spatial imprecision about the car park and playground.
State immediately that educational and parking facilities expanded while farmland, housing, and recreational space disappeared or contracted.
Coherence and Cohesion
The chronological sequence is easy to follow, but presenting the entire report as one paragraph weakens the separation of overview and details.
Use a short introduction and overview followed by separate detail paragraphs for 1950-1980 and 1980-2010.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary describes construction and land-use change with some flexibility, though several choices such as spot, fixed, and consumed are awkward.
Prefer precise map language such as occupied, replaced, retained, extended, and reduced in size.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied structures with generally good control, although tense consistency and a few clause and verb-form errors remain.
Maintain past-tense reporting throughout and ensure final summary clauses contain complete verb phrases.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram shows the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.