The chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the year 2000.
Sample Response
The given bar graph shows the illiteracy rates of different regions of the world for both males and femalesboth for male and female for the year 2000. As is observed from the graph, South Asia, the Arab States and Sub-Saharan AfricaSouth Asian, Arab and African countries had a very high rate of illiteracy while this percentage was very low in developed countries as well as in Latin America and the Caribbeanthe Latin American countries. Besides, it is also observed that the female illiteracy rate was higherobserved that female illiteracy rate was higher than male illiteracy rate in all partspart of the world.
As is presented in the graph, the illiteracy rate among females was higher than among malesamong female was higher than male in all parts of the world. The illiteracy rate in South Asia, the Arab States and Sub-Saharan AfricaSouth Asian, Arab states and in Sub-Saharan Africa was substantially higher than in any other regionalarmingly higher than any part of the world. More than 50% of femalesMore than 50 female in South Asian and Arab countries were illiterate while this percentage was only about 1% in developed countriesthis percentage was only 1 in developed countries. Around 30% of malesAround 30% males were illiterate in these two regions while this percentage was about 1% in developed countriesless than 1 in developed countries. The illiteracy rate in Sub-Saharan AfricaSub-Saharan African countries was similar to the South Asian and Arab countries. East Asia and Oceania had less than 20% illiterate people while this rate was around 10% in Latin America and the CaribbeanLatin America/ Caribbean countries. Finally, in developed countries, most of the people were literate as they had a very small percentage of illiterate people which amounted to less than 1%amounted less than 1%. In summary, the South Asia, the Arab States and Sub-Saharan AfricaSouth Asian, Arabian and Sub-Saharan countries had high illiteracy ratesa severe illiteracy rate compared to any part of the world and female illiteracy rate was higher than the male illiteracy rate all over the world.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response gives a clear overview of the regional extremes and consistently identifies the higher female rate, while covering every region in a logical sequence. However, several data points are expressed imprecisely or without percentage units, and recurring agreement and comparison errors reduce accuracy. The most valuable improvement is to report paired male–female percentages for each key region and proofread noun forms, articles and comparative structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview identifies the main regional and gender patterns, and all regions are covered, although several values are approximate, incomplete or slightly inaccurate.
Give accurate paired male and female percentages for the highest and lowest regions, including the roughly 30% versus 48% figures for Sub-Saharan Africa.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report is logically ordered from overview to regional detail, but it repeats the female-versus-male observation and relies on a limited set of linking patterns.
Remove the repeated overview point and group the high-, middle- and low-rate regions into more purposeful comparisons.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient topic vocabulary to describe rates and regional contrasts, but several word combinations and labels are awkward or imprecise.
Use precise forms such as “women,” “men,” “South Asia” and “Arab States,” and avoid vague phrases such as “any part of the world.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence structures is attempted, but recurring article, agreement, plural and comparison errors are noticeable despite generally clear meaning.
Proofread structures such as “the rate among women was higher than that among men” and ensure every numerical statement has a grammatical percentage expression.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the year 2000.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.