The line graph below shows the cases of diseases caused by X virus in Australia from 1960 to 1995.
Sample Response
The line graph showsgives data on the reported cases of diseases caused by X virusX virus diseases reported from 1960 to 1995 in Australia. The horizontal axisline presents years while the vertical axisline shows the number of reported cases.
Overall, the highest number of X virus-related incidents occurred from 1975 to 19801080 in Australia and after 1990, no cases were recordedthis virus could not cause any more illness in Australia. As can be seen in the illustration, the number of people affected by X virusaffected people from the X virus stood at aboutonly 50 in 1960 and in the next 10 years, it gradually increased. Two hundred people were infected in 1970 and afterwards, the number of cases rose sharplyfatality sharply increased and reached a peak, at 500 cases in 1975 and 1980at 500 cases in 1975. The figure remained stable at 500 over the next five yearsThis number remained stable over the next 5 years and then decreased to just over 400 in 1985decreased by 100 in 1985. However, the recorded illness due to this virus in the next 5 years fell sharplyslumped, and in 1990, not a single case of X virus-related disease was found in Australia. During the last five years, from 1990 to 1995, no one was reported to become sick from the disease caused by this virusattack of this virus in Australia.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response accurately traces the central rise to the prolonged peak and the subsequent decline to zero, using relevant figures to make the main trend easy to follow. Its impact is reduced by the incorrect year “1080,” unsupported disease language such as “fatality,” and a dense detail paragraph; the priority is to correct the peak period, describe cases in neutral terms, and separate the overview from the chronology.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response accurately reports the main rise to a 1975-1980 peak and the fall to zero after 1990. The major issue is a typo in the year “1080” and some word choices that imply deaths rather than cases.
Keep the accurate trend structure but use neutral disease-case vocabulary and correct the peak period to 1975 to 1980.
Coherence and Cohesion
The organisation is clear, with an introduction and a detailed paragraph, though the second paragraph is long.
Separate the overview from the detailed chronological description for cleaner progression.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied but sometimes inaccurate: “fatality” and “attack of this virus” are not supported by the graph.
Use “cases”, “reported infections”, “incidence”, “rose”, “plateaued”, “fell sharply” and “reached zero”.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is generally clear, with some awkward phrasing and article/preposition problems.
Edit time phrases and avoid overly wordy passive constructions.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The line graph below shows the cases of diseases caused by X virus in Australia from 1960 to 1995.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.