Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
"What would be the likely outcome if unpaid community service is madecommunity services are made a mandatory part of high school programmes and whether it should be implemented for thea greater good" is a question worth consideringis a question that needs to be answered. I will explainIn the following paragraphs, I will try to explain why I do not support the idea of making unpaid community service a mandatory part of high school education.
To begin with, there should be no compulsory unpaid community servicecompulsory social unpaid work because such activities will harm students' academic performancesuch activities will hinder students' studies and academic performance. Many students will have to take time out of their studies cutting study time to complete mandatory social work. Many parents feel that students can be distractedyoung learners can be distracted from their studies if they use community servicewhen they would use community service as an excuse to spend time outdoors with friends. This distraction will have a serious negative impactThis will have a serious negative impact on their academic progress. For instance, more than 40% of high school learners spend time with their friends during their crucial study time, which already worriesduring their crucial study time which already worries their parents. If they couldcan use mandatory unpaid community service as an excuse, this percentage would rise significantlythe percentage would increase significantly.
Moreover, making unpaid community service a compulsory part of high school programmes may hinder students from pursuing their personal interestspersonal interests and passions. High school is a critical time for students to explore their talents and identify potential career pathsdiscover their potential career paths. Forcing them to engage in community service that may not align with their interests or goals could result in disengagementresult in disengagement and a lack of enthusiasm. For example, a student who aspires to become a computer programmer may feel demotivated if they are required to volunteerspend their time volunteering at a local animal shelter, which might not contribute to their career aspirations.
In conclusion, while community service is a noble endeavour, making it a mandatory part of high school programmes can have severe drawbacks that need careful consideration.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The essay maintains a clear disagreement and develops two distinct, relevant concerns: academic disruption and reduced freedom to pursue personal interests. Its organisation and supporting example in the second body paragraph are particularly effective, while the main weakness is that the first example relies on an unsupported statistic and a somewhat speculative assumption about students misusing service time. Replace that example with a realistic scheduling conflict and tighten the opening sentence.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear throughout and both objections are relevant and well developed, although the first supporting statistic and predicted misuse are not convincing.
Support the academic-pressure argument with a concrete timetable conflict or workload example rather than an unsupported percentage and assumption about excuses.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has clear paragraphing, logical topic progression, and effective movement from academic effects to personal interests, with only minor repetition.
Condense the opening question and remove repeated references to mandatory social work and study time in the first body paragraph.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied and generally precise, especially when discussing academic progress, personal interests, disengagement, and career aspirations.
Replace awkward phrases such as social unpaid work, crucial study time, and implemented for a greater good with more natural academic wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is used with good control, though the opening construction and some conditional and participial clauses contain errors.
Rewrite the opening as a direct thesis and keep conditional forms consistent, using either can with will or could with would.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.