Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
In recent years, imprisonment is assumed as the finest method of punishment to offenders of law because after running the punishment time, the majority of people tend to be good members of the society. This condition derives plenty of people think that the prisoners are convenient speakers to talk to adolescents about the precarious of breaking the laws. I personally agree with that statementstatements and I have some reasons to support this view, whichit which will be explained briefly in the following paragraph.
First and foremost, detention imposed on criminalsdetention given to the criminals is usually followed by training and educationeducations that will be utilised in their future liveslife. For instance, they are taught about religion and how to survive their life in the right way such as lessons for becoming a tailor or a painter. Those lessons make them likely to be better citizensinhabitants and might be more easily acceptedmight easier to be accepted by their communitiesin their circumstances after completing their sentencespenalty.
Furthermore, due to the experiences gained while serving their sentencesexperiences obtained as long as running punishment, they seem to become suitable speakers to tell the teens about the difficulties that might be faced when living in prison. To illustrateliving in a prison.To illustrate, they can share how regretful they are after committing a bad action and how they felt remorsefulthey felt and repented because they could not see their familiesthey cannot meet their family and could not act freelycannot act freely like others. This story will certainly be remembered by the adolescents since they hear about these negative consequencesthose bad impacts directly from the prisoners so they will think twice before they break the lawif they want to disobey the applied rule.
In a nutshell, itIt can be concluded that the majority of peoplethat majority of people become better citizens after obtaining lessons at the jail and because of the experiences acquired in the jail, they are likely to be suitable people to tell the teenagers about drawbacks of committing a crimedrawbacks which occur owing to be a criminal.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear agreement position and offers a relevant experiential reason why former prisoners could influence teenagers. However, the first body paragraph focuses more on rehabilitation than on why these people are the best speakers, while frequent collocational and grammatical errors reduce precision; the priority is to develop the comparison with other possible speakers and express it through simpler, accurately controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and relevant reasons are provided, but the claim that former prisoners are the best speakers is only partly developed.
Compare former prisoners directly with parents, teachers, or police officers and explain why personal prison experience would make them more effective.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a clear overall sequence and appropriate paragraphing, although progression relies on rather mechanical signposting.
Use clearer logical links within paragraphs so each explanation grows naturally from the preceding claim rather than from stock connectors.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient vocabulary to discuss rehabilitation and deterrence, but frequent inaccurate word choices and collocations reduce precision.
Prefer accurate combinations such as “serve a sentence,” “effective speakers,” and “the dangers of crime” over less natural substitutions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the main ideas, but agreement, article, plural, and clause errors occur frequently.
Build shorter complete clauses and proofread systematically for subject–verb agreement, articles, and singular–plural consistency.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.