Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Education is a vital element in a child's development. Over the past years, there has been many optionsa lot of option about how parents wanton how the parents want their children to attain an excellent education. This has led toHence it brought the debate over homeschoolingargument on being homeschool and being enrolled in a school. Although homeschooling provides considerablemuch freedom for the children to learn at their own paceon their own time without limit, being enrolled in school will provide them with many resourcesprovide them much of the resources that are available in a school settingschool set up. Homeschooling has been a practice throughout history, as the mother serves as the first teacher. At presentAt the present, homeschooling has been a choice for parents who are often dissatisfiedparents who commonly not satisfied with the school system. It provides learning freedom, giving children enough time to focus on one topic at athe time as well as giving them enough rest periods. It is commonly facilitatedCommonly it is facilitated by the mother, giving parentsthem a chance to spend much time with their children creating a great bond. Moreover, making them aware of the children’s aptitude, attitude and abilities, making it easier to devise individualised lessonscome with the individualised lessons and provide one-to-one tuitionfacilitate one-on-one tutorial. Another benefit of it is that it helps reducehelps in reducing emotional pressure caused by bullyingpressure brought by bullies, peer pressure and boredom. On the contrary, this requires full attention fromrequires a full attention by the parents, limiting their time to work. Thus, it requires parentsThus, requires parents to be creative in facilitating the lesson in order to engage children and hold their attentiongain interest and children's attention in each lesson. In the fiscal note, although you are not obliged to pay for tuition fees, being homeschool is expensive as you need to buy certain educational resources that are easily available in school settings. On the other handside, attending school provides a lot of positive aspects; one of this is that the school provides a wide range of up to date educational resources. Moreover, teaching is facilitated by a well-trained teacher that can provide effective teaching strategies. Although bullies and peer pressure are present in the school settings, this will help children to be socially exposed to these factors, thus, giving them a chance to cope with it and further gain their confidence and high self-esteem. To sum it up, both choices has its positive and negative side, but in my opinion, attending school provide a wide range of necessary information as well as skills that children will help them develop well. Even though attending school is beneficial, education supplementation from home will help students to attain a high level of education. School and home teaching will greatly help students understand more and help them mould their character and attitudes that will help them in the near future.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response covers both methods extensively, offering several relevant benefits of homeschooling and schooling before reaching a clear preference for school supplemented by learning at home. Its strongest feature is the breadth of ideas, while the main limitation is language control and presentation: frequent grammatical errors, sentence fragments, and absent paragraphing reduce clarity. Prioritise grouped body paragraphs and accurate sentence structure around the strongest advantages.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The advantages of both methods are developed through relevant points and the preference for school with home supplementation is clear, though some disadvantages add unnecessary length.
Focus each body section on the strongest requested advantages and compare how each method supports children's academic and social development.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas move logically from homeschooling to schooling and a qualified conclusion, but the single long paragraph and repetitive transitions weaken organisation.
Create separate introduction, homeschooling, school, and conclusion paragraphs, each with a clear controlling idea.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonable range of education vocabulary, but inaccurate collocations and word forms occur frequently.
Use natural forms such as 'be homeschooled,' 'school setting,' 'individualised instruction,' 'full-time attention,' and 'educational resources.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex forms is attempted and meaning is generally clear, but agreement, articles, verb forms, and sentence fragments recur throughout.
Turn fragments beginning with 'Moreover' and 'Thus' into complete sentences and check subject-verb agreement in the conclusion.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.