Popular events like the football world cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
First of all, the World Cup, the OlympicsOlympics and other international games help to easework for easing tensions among different nations. For example, South and North Korea regularly play football matcheshave football games regularly which give the two nationswhich give two nations a chance to understand each other betterdeeply. In the mid 1990s, hundreds ofa hundreds of North Korean supporters came to South Korea with the footballers and they were very excited during the sporting events. Although it may sound surprisingEven if it sounds ridiculous, many South Koreans were quite surprised whensurprised at that moment when North Koreans shouted and cried during the match. We all realized that they were ordinary sports fansvery normal sports fans even though they were occasionally very secretive. Through sportThrough the sports, the two divided nationstwo divided nations could reduce their political and ideological tensions and could feel a sense of patriotic unitycould feel the patriotic unity.
On the other hand, some sports matches can make international relations worse. For instance, football or baseball games between Korea and Japan are always majorbig matches in two countries where tensions run highin two countries where full of tensions overflow. Sometimes, after the matches, the two rivals blame each other and their patriotic emotions are expressed aggressivelyexplode in an aggressive way. An even worse scenario is thatEven much worse scenario is that the problemstroubles caused by losing games affect the players directly.
In conclusion, I think that international sporting occasions can be one effective wayone of the good ways to ease tensions or to expressrelease patriotism safely. However, I believe that games are notgames can not be a fundamental means of promoting healthy patriotismthe fundamental ways for the sound patriotism or peaceful international relations.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response uses a well-developed Korea example to show how sporting events can ease tensions, and its qualified conclusion presents a clear view. The opposing argument is much less developed, while the essay is slightly under length and contains several awkward expressions. Add a brief opening position and expand the negative case with fuller explanation before refining articles, agreement, and sentence construction.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response presents a clear qualified position and discusses both beneficial and harmful effects, but the negative case is comparatively brief and the response falls slightly short of the expected length.
State the position at the outset and develop the opposing case with a fuller explanation of how rivalry can worsen relations.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through two contrasting body paragraphs and a conclusion, though the opening context and some internal links are limited.
Add a concise introduction and make the relationship between each example, its explanation, and the central claim more explicit.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficient range of topic vocabulary, including political and ideological tensions, but several collocations and formulations are awkward.
Use more natural combinations for patriotism, international relations, and rivalry, and avoid expressions such as where full of tensions overflow.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response includes varied complex structures, but recurring errors with articles, number, relative clauses, and sentence formation reduce accuracy.
Check noun phrases and clause structures carefully, especially plural forms, article choice, and sentences built with where.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Popular events like the football world cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.