Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Which one do you agree with? Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
There is a great shift in people's lifestyle over the last few years. These days they involve themselves in a hectic work routinein hectic work routine and have very littleless time for leisure activities. However, leisure time is essential to ease tension and to feelget refreshed and energetic. Some people argue that leisure time can be utilised efficiently by doing mentally stimulating activitiesmind booster type activities. Others state that after a busy scheduleafter busier schedule, one should relax their mind. I believe that leisure time provides us with opportunitiesprovides us opportunities to further enhance our knowledge and mind.
Activities like reading, playing puzzle games, etc.playing puzzle games etc. are the best use of spending leisure time. One cannot deny the numerous benefitsdeny about the numerous benefits of reading. All the scientists and scholars used to read books in their leisure time. It not only increasesincreased our knowledge but also enablesbur also enable us to draw our own observation based on reading materialsunder the light of reading materials. Furthermore, puzzle gamesFurthermore puzzle games contribute a lot in making the mind sharpmaking mind sharp and efficient.
Nowadays, the lifestyle of people has dramatically changed because of the economic crisis and recession. People get involvedinvolve in multiple jobs in order to earn their living. So it is mandatory to have peace and rest of mind by doing activities such as listening to musiclistening music, watching television and doing physical activities. It will help them in easing tension and make them energetic for their future work.
In conclusion, I would like to say that constructive activities in leisure time could contribute immense benefits to us. By doing these activities one can gain plenty of knowledge which would definitely help them in their futurecoming life.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response has a clear position, covers both views, and follows an easy-to-understand paragraph structure. Its main weakness is that the supporting ideas remain general, while frequent grammar errors and unnatural word choices reduce precision. The highest priority is to support the preference with specific examples showing how reading or puzzles benefit the mind and why those benefits outweigh relaxation, then polish basic accuracy and natural phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay discusses both using leisure time for mental improvement and resting the mind, and it gives a clear opinion in favour of constructive activities. Development is relevant but somewhat general, especially in the paragraph about mental activities.
Give more concrete examples of how reading or puzzles improve the mind, and explain why these benefits outweigh simple relaxation.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is clear and the essay progresses from introduction to two views and conclusion. Cohesion is understandable, but some links are basic and the conclusion repeats the opinion without adding a strong final reason.
Use clearer comparative linking between the two views, especially when moving from mental activities to rest.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is relevant but sometimes limited and inaccurate. Phrases such as mind booster type activities, bur, rest of mind, and coming life reduce naturalness.
Use more natural phrases such as mentally stimulating activities, cognitive skills, mental rest, relieve stress, and future life.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay uses some complex structures, but frequent errors in comparatives, verb agreement, prepositions, and articles affect accuracy. Meaning is mostly clear despite these errors.
Focus on basic accuracy: fewer/less, subject-verb agreement, verb forms after help, and prepositions after listening and contribute.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Which one do you agree with? Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.