In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?
Sample Response
Technological advancement has had an impact on every industryhas impacted every industry and opened up new opportunities. It has also changed the way we make paymentsthe way that we currently make payments. Because they are accessible and easy to useDue to its accessibility and ease, mobile payment applications such as digital walletsmobile phone applications like digital wallets are seeing a rise in popularity for making transactionsfor transactions. This essay will explain whydiscuss how the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
Making the transition to online payments has a number of benefits. Firstly, this method of payment is easy to use and convenient. Anyone with a bank account and a debit card can complete the easy-to-understand payment procedures. Secondly, it lessens the necessity of carrying actual currency when venturing outside. Finally, it gives users access to transaction recordsaccess to an audit feature that allows them to monitor transactions on a daily basis. For example, the GooglePay mobile app maintains a transaction historykeeps a passbook that can be viewed at any time to see the payments made from the account, which lessens the likelihood of disputes arising from transactions between parties.
On the other hand, the main problem with digital paymentsthe main problem of digital payment is the rise in fraud and cybercrime. These days, thieves are highly creative and constantly coming up with new ways to take advantage of people’s money. For exampleTo exemplify, many incidents have been reported where lakhs of rupees were swiped from people’s accounts by tricking them into sharing their unique authentication PIN. Moreover, the possibility of technical malfunctions that could cause payment procedures to be disrupted is a serious drawback. For instance, software faults or network connectivity problems could momentarily make mobile payment apps unusable, which would be inconvenient for consumers and might even result in financial disruptions.
To sum up, using a phone to make payments has several advantages that improve people’s daily lives. But when making payments, one should be cautious and aware of the risks. (291 words)
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear position and supports both sides with relevant, easy-to-follow examples, particularly the discussion of fraud and technical failures. Its main limitation is that the benefits are often listed rather than fully developed or directly weighed against the drawbacks. The highest-priority improvement is to explain why the combined benefits are more significant than the identified risks and reinforce that comparison in the conclusion.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both advantages and disadvantages, maintains a clear position, and supports its main ideas with relevant examples.
Develop the comparative judgement explicitly by explaining why the advantages outweigh the serious risks discussed.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear introduction, two focused body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion, with generally effective linking.
Use less list-like sequencing in the advantages paragraph and connect each benefit through a more developed line of reasoning.
Lexical Resource
A sufficiently wide and generally precise vocabulary supports discussion of convenience, transaction records, cybercrime, and technical disruption.
Replace occasional awkward combinations such as references to taking advantage of people's money with more natural, precise phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of simple and complex sentence structures is used with generally strong control and clear meaning throughout.
Refine article, number, and preposition choices in phrases such as the main problem of digital payment to improve naturalness.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.