Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?
Sample Response
Many scientists believe that genetic characteristics have more influence on human personalitythe human’s personality than life experiencessome experiences in life. Although genetic factors havegenetics has some effect on our personalitiescharacters, I believe that the influence of life experiences arelife experience is more significant, and the following essay will discuss this in detaildetails. On the one hand, it is true that everyone is unique, as they are born with different characteristics. While some people are born with an easy going character, others might be born with a melancholic one. People cannot choosePeople could not choose their inherited characteristicstheir genetic characters, and these traits may become more pronouncedthese characters will develop more as they becomeget adults. Therefore, manyTherefore many experts believe that genetic characters have a significant effect on a person’s identity. On the other hand, other people believe that life experiences have more influence on usexperiences in life have more influence in our life than genetic characters. Community and family conditionsCommunities, family condition, education and work experiences have a deeper effect on a person’s character. For example, a person might be born with a sanguine temperamentborn as a sanguine person, but be raised in a broken homeraise in a broken home family. As a consequence, he could become a pessimistic person as he grows upwhen he grew up. Another example is that a man might be a positive person, but after spending so much time with negative friendsbut as he spent so much time with negative friends, he could become just like thembecome as just one them. In conclusion, I agree that genetic characters have some influence on a person’s personality, but I think that life experiences have a more significant influence onare giving more significant influence to our personality. Therefore it is important for us to be selective in choosing the place to live, workplace and friends.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response gives a clear answer and supports the greater influence of experience with relevant contrasts and examples. Its main weakness is presentation and language control: the entire essay is unparagraphised, while recurring grammar and collocation errors make several points awkward despite generally clear meaning. The most useful improvement is to separate the argument into logical paragraphs and revise inaccurate verb patterns and word combinations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear throughout, and both inherited traits and life experience are discussed with relevant supporting examples.
Develop the genetics argument more fully and explain more precisely why the experience examples prove it is the stronger influence.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a logical overall sequence, but the absence of paragraph breaks significantly weakens organisation and readability.
Separate the introduction, the two contrasting arguments, and the conclusion into distinct, purpose-led paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for the topic and includes some less common personality terms, though recurrent collocation and word-choice errors reduce precision.
Learn accurate combinations such as influence on, raised in, become like them, and as they grow older.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex forms communicates the main meaning, but errors in verb forms, prepositions, and clause construction recur.
Review participle and tense choices in example sentences, especially forms such as raised, grew, and has spent.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.