Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?
Sample Response
It is an undeniable fact that some people are naturallygod gifted and possess skills which sometimes become difficultsometime become hard for us to acquire. Even experts have proven that traits thatwhich we inherit from our ancestors are more powerful in developing our personality; however, I believepersonality however,I believe that experience has a stronger influence on shaping usexperience is more powerful in moulding us at different phases of life than the traits which we get from our ancestors. In this essay, Iancestors.in this essay,I will discuss the major impact that experience hasmajor impact experience put on our outlook.
There are manifold reasons to support my viewpoint. First and foremost, throughviewpoint.first and foremost,with experience we learn varied aspects of life; as a result,life as a result we get to know how to survive in this complicated world.For instance,when a student goesa students go to abroad,they encounterthey encountered with different situations and have many sweet and bitter experiences,which teach them a lot of life lessons.They learn how to communicate and adjust with people from diverse cultures and traditionspeople of diverse culture and tradition in anotherother nation.
Secondly, when we go through any hardship of life then we know about our strengths and weaknessesweeknesses and become good decision-makersbecome good decision maker. To examplify, a 23 years old blind boy who was rejected for enrollment by IIT and even many times from other institutes,then he took wise decision and with his intellectual skills he opened his own big firm and become CEO of 25crore firm.
Finally, experience also makesmake us perfect in particular field which sometime seems to us impossible.To cite an example, when we work as a novicenaïve in any sector that time we make a lot of mistakesmake lot of mistakes but later on with practical work we become more efficient and perform tasks efficientlyperform task frequently which we find very hard in our initial days at workplace.
After analyzing aforesaid viewpoints,it has been shown that experience plays a vital roleit has been proven experience plays vital role in our lifetime.we become more mature and more understandable with practical things only
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response is strongest in maintaining a clear view that experience is the greater influence and supporting it with several distinct situations. Its main limitation is that frequent grammatical, spelling, and collocational errors make many sentences awkward, while some examples are asserted more than explained. The highest-priority improvement is to build each reason through a precise explanation and then proofread systematically for sentence boundaries, agreement, articles, and verb forms.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers the question with a clear position and several relevant reasons, although development is sometimes general or unconvincing.
Explain more explicitly how each example proves that experience outweighs inherited characteristics rather than merely describing an experience.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear overall progression and appropriate paragraphing, but linking is mechanical and punctuation often weakens sentence flow.
Use fewer formulaic sequencing phrases and separate or punctuate ideas carefully so relationships within sentences are immediately clear.
Lexical Resource
There is an adequate range of topic vocabulary and some attempts at less common language, but spelling and collocation errors are frequent.
Prioritize accurate common collocations, such as “study abroad” and “make a decision,” before adding more ambitious vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts varied and complex structures, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, plurals, and capitalization reduce control.
Proofread each sentence for a complete clause and consistent subject-verb agreement, then correct articles and singular-plural forms.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.