A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
We live in a world in which everyone is judgmental to the extent that one often makes inconsequential remarks with regard toin regards to things that dodoes not affect one in the least bit, such as whether other people drivesuch as if other people are driving a LamborghiniLamborgini or if they are carrying a Hermes bag. It seems as though old fashioned values such as honour, generosity, and trust do not amount to much in today's judgemental societycondemnatory world. Regarding the statementApropos of the statement, I am in part accordance with it.
It is inarguable that a staggering number of people only considerconsider about how atheir connection can benefit thembring advantages to them when befriending someone. For instance, one might think twice before making friends with someone who is kind but impoverished, as there is no benefit that is likely to stem from the connection. On the flip side, ingratiating oneself withingratiating with someone who displays ostentatious wealth might be more advantageous to onemore auspicious for one in the future. Similarly, one from a wealthy family might feel hesitant to befriend someone who is struggling to make ends meet, seeing as the latter is not at the same social level as themon the same level with one in terms of social status. Also, there is no guarantee that one will not be on the receiving end of bullying if one befriends someone of a lower status. Case in point, kids from my school will not let Jaycea hear the end of it because she is friends with Elaine, a driver's daughter, notwithstanding the fact that Elaine is trustworthy and dependable. In contrastOn the contrast, I also believe that it is unreasonable to stereotype the whole society based on the behaviour and way of thinking of some people. Like the aforementioned case in which Jaycea is willing to befriend Elaine despite being bullied, it shows that it is possible for some people to value trust and generosity over social status. To sum up, while it is commonplace for people to place greater value on material possessionshold a higher value of material possessions and social status in this overcritical world, there are also people who value traditional virtues morevalue old fashioned values more and they are not to be overlooked.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response gives a clear, nuanced position and develops both sides through a sustained social example, showing strong command of argument and a broad vocabulary. Its effectiveness is reduced by placing almost the entire discussion in one long paragraph and by several conspicuously strained expressions and grammatical slips. The highest priority is to separate the opposing perspectives into well-shaped paragraphs and favour accurate, natural wording over unnecessarily elaborate vocabulary.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly answers the question with a clear partial agreement and relevant development of both sides.
Strengthen the balance by explaining the continuing importance of traditional values beyond the single friendship example.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas follow a discernible argumentative sequence, but the oversized second paragraph weakens organisation and makes the contrast less distinct.
Separate materialistic behaviour, the counterargument and the conclusion into distinct paragraphs with clear controlling ideas.
Lexical Resource
A wide range of less common vocabulary conveys nuanced meanings, although several choices are strained, inaccurate or overly formal.
Choose natural precision over display vocabulary, replacing expressions such as in part accordance and on the contrast with idiomatic alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are used flexibly and meaning remains clear, but agreement, reference and sentence-construction errors recur.
Check subject-verb agreement and eliminate dangling openings and unclear pronoun reference in long complex sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.