Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
The role that university education plays in a person’s life and in society is often debatedoften a debated topic. Some argue that the main purpose of university education is to enable graduates to land better jobs, while others contend that university education has a wider array of benefits for both individuals and society. This essay will discuss both viewsBoth sides of this debate will be analysed in this essay before a reasoned conclusion is drawn.
On the one hand, some believe that tertiary education has greatparamount importance in helping graduates findfinding rewarding jobs. For example, to work in auditingto practice audit in the UK, a person must havea person has got to have a certification awarded by one of the recognised professional bodies such as the ACCA. Without such a qualificationWithout a degree from such an institute, it would be impossible to be employed in the auditing professionprofession of auditing. Thus, it is obvious why this point of view has gainedgarnered support.
On the other hand, many opine that university education has a much wider role to play in both a person's life and societyin both the person’s life and in society. For instance, many British universities have included ethics as a compulsory subject in all of their courses. As a result, university graduates are likely to be awaresavvy of their moral responsibilities and thus can fulfil them more effectivelydischarge them in a better way. Hence, it is clear why many people support this stance.
Although both sides of this argument have merits,Although both sides of this argument have indisputable virtues, however, it is felt that higher education plays a much more significant role than merely assisting graduatesthe graduates in finding better employment. It is hoped that education will continue to shape the characterrefine the characters of both individuals and nationsthe individuals and the nations in coming decades.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay is clearly organised, addresses both views, and supports its preference for the wider value of university education with relevant professional and ethical examples. The main limitation is that the claimed benefit to society remains somewhat general, while formulaic linking and several awkward or inaccurate constructions reduce polish. Explain precisely how ethically educated graduates benefit society, then express that comparison in more natural language and a more direct conclusion.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay addresses both views and gives a clear opinion that university has wider benefits than employment, with relevant examples about professional qualifications and ethics.
Make the wider social benefits more specific by explaining how ethical education benefits society beyond individual graduates.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically organised with clear paragraphing and progression, though some linking is formulaic and the conclusion includes a slightly broad final hope.
Use less memorised linking and make the conclusion restate the comparison more directly.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally appropriate, but a few choices are unnatural or overly formal, such as savvy of, garnered support, and indisputable virtues.
Use precise academic wording such as aware of responsibilities, professional training, social benefits, and employability.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is a good range of complex structures, but some errors in gerunds, articles, and redundancy remain.
Check verb forms after in and avoid double connectors such as although and however in the same sentence.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.