Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
Many people have argued about the function of university study. A group of people believe that studying at university helpsstudying in the university help graduatesgraduate students in obtaining prestigious jobs, while others think that university study offers much wider benefits besides getting better jobspositive experiences beside getting better jobs. The following paragraphs will explain in detaildetails about both opinions, but I do believe that undergraduate or post graduate studies have many advantages.
On the one hand, it is a fact that one of the aims of university study is to assist the graduates in obtaining better jobs. Institutions are hoping that the curriculum, programmes, and tutorial sessions they preparecurriculum, program and tutorial sessions that are prepared and set by them would be useful for their graduate students in the workplace. Besides that, certain kinds of highly paid jobs require the candidate to be highly educated or have a university degree. For example, to become an external auditor in one of the big four international accounting firms such as Price Water House Coopers, the candidate should have a bachelor'sbachelor degree in accounting and obtain a certified public accountant certificateand obtained certified public accountant certificate. Since it is a mandatory requirement, many of the young people have enrolled in the university in order to get that elite and prestigious job. Therefore a lot of people believe that the main purpose of studying atin university level is to get better jobs.
On the other hand, another group of people believe that university study offers other kinds of positive experiences for students themselves and communities as well. Firstly, by studying in the university, students would have more friends, since many universities are accepting students from various local areas and some even from overseas. Therefore, students would have the chance in expanding their networks and learning new languages and cultures as well. Secondly, studying at university also bringsstudying in the university also bring benefits for the community and society. University offers various kinds of positive activities for their students which are also useful for the neighbourhood. For example, many medicine schools offer free medical consultationsmedication consultation for the poor people who live in the surrounding area which is conducted by their students.
In conclusion, some people believe that university study brings much wider benefits for the students besides getting better-paid jobs, but others disagree with it. In my point of view, I do agree that the aim of studying in the university should not be only for getting jobs, but also for networking and socialising as well.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response discusses both perspectives, states a clear preference for the wider value of university education, and supports its points with relevant employment and community examples. Its main limitation is that the broader social benefits are asserted more than analysed, while recurring collocation, word-form, agreement, and article errors reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to explain the impact of each example more fully and then edit the language for accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay discusses both views and gives a clear opinion that university education has wider benefits beyond employment. Examples are relevant and reasonably developed, though the wider social benefits could be analysed more deeply.
After each example, add one sentence explaining how the benefit affects individuals or society, not only that it exists.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure is clear with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesion is generally effective, but some formulaic phrases and minor logical wording issues remain.
Use sharper topic sentences and make the conclusion restate both your opinion and the strongest reason for it.
Lexical Resource
The essay uses a good range of education and employment vocabulary, but collocation errors and word-form problems are frequent enough to limit precision.
Review phrases such as “help graduates obtain jobs,” “in detail,” “besides,” “bachelor’s degree,” and “medical consultation.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is a range of complex grammar, but agreement, article, and verb-form errors appear regularly across otherwise clear sentences.
Check subject-verb agreement after long noun phrases and use possessive forms for degrees and certificates.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.