minutes on this task: Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Write an essay expressing your point of view.
Sample Response
Raising children is definitely a very challenging task for parentstask for the parents. Children need great care and support as well as enough time devoted to them each daytime to be devoted to them daily to teach them good mannerseducate them with good manners. In most societiesIn most of the societies, this is seen as the mother's rolethis is the female role. In other societies, however, it may be the father who has taken over this task or both parents contribute equally.
In most societies, sinceIn the majority of the societies since men work outside the homedo the outdoor tasks and are employed, women spendthe women spend most of their time at home and part of their role is raising childrenpart of their task is raising the children. Being available throughout the dayall the time is necessary for parenting. A father who is working outside all day is probably less available for daily childcarenot very suitable for this.
FurthermoreOn top of this, women tend to be more affectionate and caring by nature than men. A parent needs to be kind, passionate and patient especially during early childhood, periods of sickness and so on.
On the other hand, children feel more comfortable with and closer to their mothersmore comfortable and close to their mothers. Often, children turngo to their mother when a problem ariseswhen there is any problem arising or for help. This is most probably because the very first person that an infant sees is the mother. All the breastfeeding and cuddling leads to the development of affection and love between the mother and the infant, and this bond can persistthis is seen to persist all the way to adulthood. Hence, children prefer to be cared for by their motherprefer their mother to be parenting them.
In conclusion, I believe that women make better parents than men, because of their inherent nature and the love and affection they have for children.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay maintains a clear position and develops several relevant reasons, especially parental availability and early emotional bonding, within a logical paragraph structure. Its main limitation is that the support relies on broad gender generalisations and occasionally imprecise vocabulary, so the comparison with capable fathers remains underexplored. Acknowledge relevant counterexamples and distinguish caregiving circumstances from inherent gender traits, while refining terms such as "compassionate" and "raise children."
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is consistent and supported by several relevant explanations, although the reasoning depends heavily on generalisations about mothers and working fathers.
Test the position against examples of equally available and caring fathers, then explain why the preferred conclusion still follows.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is organised into clear stages with effective progression from availability to temperament, bonding and conclusion.
Make the fourth paragraph's relationship to the previous point clearer, since "On the other hand" incorrectly suggests a contrasting idea.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for childcare and emotional bonds, but some choices such as "passionate" and "parenting them" are inaccurate.
Use "compassionate," "raise children" and "teach them good manners" to express the ideas more precisely.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are used with generally clear meaning, though article, agreement, punctuation and clause-pattern errors remain noticeable.
Revise phrases such as "in most societies," "breastfeeding and cuddling lead" and "children prefer their mothers to care for them."
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IELTS Writing Task 2
minutes on this task: Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Write an essay expressing your point of view.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.