minutes on this task: Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Write an essay expressing your point of view.
Sample Response
When it comes to parenthood, women have always hadfemales always had a predominant role relative to mena predominating role to their male counterparts. Some opine that both are equally capable as parentsboth rub their shoulders as parents. This has been a topic of debate for many yearsa topic, wrangling over many years. In my opinion, equality being the buzzword of the day, both parents play a vital role in raising their childrenchild regardless of genderirrespective of genders.
Since antiquityFrom the time of antiquity, both females and males were distinguished by their parenting roleswere parted on their parenthood skills. Traditional practice involvedThe custom showcased women staying at homesitting back at home looking after children, while men were responsible for earning incomeresponsible for earnings. The people at that time believed that females were better atin raising children than males. The male domineering society applauded and encouraged such irrational thinking. But now, people are moving beyond such irrational thinkingcoming out of such yokes of irrational thinking and consequentlyhenceforth a notable change in the situationchange in situation is being witnessed.
In the present day, in which equality is valuedwhere equality rules, there is less emphasis on gender differences in parentingparenthood responsibilities. Considering an average familya mediocre family, where both parents work, both share all household duties, there does not even arise a question of not sharing parenthood. An ideal exemplification would be my own case, where my wife and Imyself share responsibilities when it comes to raising our daughter. We switch duties according to our office schedules and gender never makes a differenceno difference on gender exists ever. This would be the case of mass, where nuclear family prevails, with no room for gender inequality.
To conclude, I would like to mention that parenthood is not weighed on one’s gender rather it is measured on one's dedication and care. So no matter what gender you belong to, you should be assiduous and provide the best possible environment for your children to blossom. It becomes ideal when both parents compete out of caring in upbringing their child.
Vineeth V.
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Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear position that parenting ability depends on commitment rather than gender, and it develops this view through historical contrast and a relevant personal example. Its main weakness is the frequent use of strained or inaccurate expressions, which sometimes obscures otherwise sensible ideas, alongside several recurring grammatical errors. The priority is to replace ambitious but unsuitable wording with natural collocations and then proofread sentence structures for agreement, pronoun choice, and clarity.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response presents a clear viewpoint throughout and supports it with relevant discussion of changing family roles and shared parenting.
Extend the comparison by explaining more directly why caregiving effectiveness depends on individual qualities rather than gender.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through an introduction, historical context, a present-day example, and a consistent conclusion.
Tighten transitions within the body paragraphs so each supporting sentence develops the central claim without loosely attached generalisations.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a broad vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce precision and naturalness.
Prioritise accurate common expressions over forced items such as rub their shoulders, mediocre family, and case of mass.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts varied and complex structures, but errors in tense, pronouns, agreement, and clause construction occur regularly.
Edit each complex sentence for a complete main clause and check subject-verb agreement and pronoun forms before adding further detail.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
minutes on this task: Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Write an essay expressing your point of view.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.