The graph shows Underground Station passenger numbers in London.
This response is estimated at Band 6.0. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
The graph provides information aboutthe visual representation of Deletethe the number of passengers in London's Underground station throughout the day.
Overall, Underground Station at 8:00 accounted8 o'clock accounted for the highest numberlargest proportion of passengers, while at 16 o'clock it reported the lowest passenger volumesmallest uptake.
From 6:00 to 8:00, theFrom 6 to 8 o'clock the number of passengers saw a significant risepassengers reported the significant rise Deletein number from the lowest point to its peak, from 100 to 400 passengers, before dropping sharply to nearly 180 individuals by 10:00.10 o'clock . Over the next houran hour-period the number of passengers increased slightlyslighly to approximately 200.
At 12 o'clock the number rose markedly to nearly 280 individuals, before reaching 300 at 14:0014 o'clock in the afternoon. The number recorded a major droprecorded major drop to 100 passengers by 16 o'clock, the same figure reported at 6 o'clock. The number increased to approximately 380 passengers at 18 o'clock. By 20 o'clock the figure dropped to nearly 120 passengers. Between 20:00 and 22:0020 and 22 o'clock it showed a slight fluctuation from nearly 120 to 160, before dropping to roughly 140 passengers by 22:00roughly 140 passengers at the end of the day.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response effectively covers the main trends in passenger numbers chronologically and provides a recognizable overview of the highest and lowest points. However, the report relies on slightly imprecise vocabulary for numerical data and contains recurring grammatical errors with articles and sentence structures. To improve, focus on using precise task-appropriate terminology for data counts and refining grammatical accuracy in complex structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Key fluctuations and peak times are accurately identified, though the overview misapplies terminology related to proportions rather than absolute counts.
Ensure overall summaries use exact data types, distinguishing absolute numbers from percentages or proportions.
Coherence and Cohesion
The descriptions follow a clear chronological sequence that makes the overall progression easy to follow.
Vary sentence openings and cohesive devices to connect time intervals more naturally instead of repeating time references.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is generally adequate to describe movement, but some words like uptake and proportion are used incorrectly.
Select precise lexical items appropriate for graph trends, such as volume or total count instead of proportion.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures is attempted, but noticeable mistakes in article usage and typographical errors occur.
Proofread carefully to eliminate missing articles before noun phrases and eradicate simple typos like repeated words.