The graph shows Underground Station passenger numbers in London.
This response is estimated at Band 6.0. Can you write a better one?
Write yours and get clear feedback on all four criteria.
- Closest to official scores
- What to fix on each criterion
- Feedback in about 20 seconds · free
Sample Response
The graph provides athe visual representation of the number of passengersof number of passengers in London's Underground station throughout the day.
Overall, early morning and late afternoon recordedaccounted for the highest number of passengers,which was followed by late morning hours.hours with . While late night hours reported athe significant decline in passengers at London's Underground Station.
From 6:00 to 8:00, the number of passengers saw athe significant rise from the lowest point to its peak, from 100 to 400 passengers, before dropping sharply to nearly 180 individuals by 10:00 . Over the next hour, theOver the next hour the number of passengers increased slightly to approximately 200.
At 12:00, the numberAt 12:00 the number rose markedly to nearly 280 individuals, before reaching 300 at 14:00. Passenger traffic then recorded a major dropThe number recorded a major drop to 100 passengers by 16:00, the same figure reported at 6:00. The number increased to approximately 380 passengers at 18:00. By 20:00, the figureBy 20:00the figure dropped to nearly 120 passengers. Between 20:00 and 22:00 it fluctuated slightlyshowed a slight fluctuation from nearly 120 to 160, before dropping to roughly 140 passengers at the end of the day.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response successfully outlines the key trends and data points across the day, providing an accurate chronological reporting of peak and trough travel times. However, an incomplete sentence in the overview paragraph and persistent spacing and punctuation errors detract from the overall clarity. To improve, ensure that overview statements are fully written out and proofread carefully to eliminate basic mechanical errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Key peaks and troughs are accurately reported with numerical figures, though the overview paragraph is left incomplete.
Ensure the overview sentence is fully finished and provides a complete summary of the main trends.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is organized logically in chronological order, but cohesiveness is interrupted by an abrupt sentence fragment in the summary section.
Check that every sentence is fully formed to maintain a smooth flow between paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
A good variety of verbs and nouns is used to describe trends, though occasional minor phrasing choices are slightly unnatural.
Refine preposition use and fixed expressions when introducing graphics and data points.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response features a mix of sentence structures, but formatting lapses such as missing spaces after punctuation recur throughout.
Proofread for spacing around commas, full stops, and time stamps to maintain consistent mechanical control.