The graph shows Underground Station passenger numbers in London.
This response is estimated at Band 7.5. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
The graph provides a visual representation of the number of passengers inof in London's Underground station from 6:00 in the early morningmoring totill 22:00 at nightat the late night.
Overall, the early morningOverall, early morning and late afternoon recorded the highest numbers of passengers, followed by moderate levels in the early afternoon. In contrast, late evening hours saw a significant drop in passenger numbers.
From 6:00 to 8:00, passenger traffic rose steeply from 100 to reach the day's peak of 400, before dropping through 300 at 9:00 to around 180 by 10:00dropping sharply to around 180 by 10:00. Over the next hour, the number of passengers increased slightly to approximately 200.
Between 11:00 and 12:00, the figure climbed significantly to roughly 280At 12:00, the number rose markedly to nearly 280 individuals, before reaching 300 passengerspassenegrs at 14:00. Passenger traffic then recorded a major drop to 100 passengers by 16:00, the trough of 100 passengers seen at 6:00same figure reported at 6:00. The number increased to approximately 380 people at 18:00. By 20:00, the figure dropped to nearly 120 passengers. Between 20:00 and 22:00 it fluctuated slightly fromrom nearly 120 to 160, before dropping to roughly 140 passengers at the end of the day.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The essay effectively highlights the major peaks and troughs shown in the chart, presenting a well-defined overview alongside precise data points. To enhance performance further, minor typing errors should be eliminated to ensure seamless readability. Priority should be given to double-checking preposition usage and proofreading for spelling inaccuracies throughout the text.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response presents a clear overview of main trends and accurately reports the key highs and lows across the given timeline.
Group secondary data points more selectively to emphasize comparisons rather than describing every chronological movement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically organized into dedicated paragraphs with a clear progression from overview to detailed reporting.
Vary cohesive markers between paragraphs to avoid repetitive structures when introducing chronological periods.
Lexical Resource
A good range of trend vocabulary is used effectively to describe changes in data, though minor spelling mistakes are present.
Carefully proofread the response to eliminate typographical errors in basic words.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Sentence structures show a flexible mix of simple and complex forms with generally strong grammatical accuracy throughout.
Ensure prepositions following noun phrases are used accurately to avoid redundant wording.