The chart and table below show the results of a survey of library users at a university.
This response is estimated at Band 5.5. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
The pie chart provides a breakdown of different categories of library users, while the table shows their satisfaction levels based on the range of services the library provided.
Overall, a substantial portion of the chart is comprisingdedicated to full-time undergraduates, exactly 44%, which is then followed by full-time postgraduates with 25%. A small fraction is represented byattributed to part-time postgraduatespostgraduates graduates, accounting for 16% , and lastly, the lowest sharespercentage , 8% and 7% respectively are accounted for by distance learners and academic staff7% and 8% respectively is accounted for by academic staff and distance learners from all the available courses.
As for the table, users reported the highest satisfaction with the helpfulness of the library staff, exactlyroughly 95%, and only 5 % were fairly satisfied with staff helpfulness .Regarding opening hours, 65% of users were very satisfied, while the remaining 35% were fairly satisfied, Deletewhile only 35% felt fairly satisfied with it. Regarding opening hours, 65% of users were very satisfied, while the remaining 35% were fairly satisfied. In addition, half of the individuals were very satisfied withfelt content about the availability of books, with 40% accounted for by users who were fairly satisfied. This contrasts with the other 10%This contrasts with the other 10% This contrast with other 10%, which showed a not satisfiedstrong dissatisfaction with this service. Lastly, fewer than half of the users were very satisfied with the availability of journals (45%) and wi-fi reliability (48%)less than half of the users were satisfied with the availability of journals and the reliability of wi-fi, between 33% and 35%less than 40% were fairly satisfied, and 20% and 19% respectivelyroughly 20% showed dissatisfaction toward these particular services offered by the library.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response successfully covers all data points from both visual aids, demonstrating good factual reporting and a clear overall structure. However, noticeable repetition, accidental drafting duplicates, and punctuation errors hinder the cohesion and grammatical accuracy. To improve, eliminate duplicate clauses during proofreading, refine sentence structures to avoid lengthy run-ons, and highlight key overarching trends rather than simply listing figures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response identifies key features and details figures accurately, though it lacks an explicit high-level overview highlighting main trends.
Include a clear overview paragraph that summarizes overall trends without detailed figures before presenting the body paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is arranged logically by graphic, but repetitive phrasing and unedited sentence duplication severely disrupt the flow.
Proofread carefully to remove repeated fragments and ensure transitions between sentences remain smooth and varied.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary shows adequate variety and appropriateness, with minor errors such as word redundancies.
Vary word choices for reporting percentages and satisfaction levels to avoid overusing identical phrases.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is attempted, but comma splices, awkward spacing, and drafting mistakes reduce grammatical control.
Use proper punctuation to break up complex sentences and prevent run-on structures.