The chart and table below show the results of a survey of library users at a university.
This response is estimated at Band 7.0. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
The pie chart provides a breakdown of different categories of library users, while the table shows their satisfaction levels based on the range of services the library provided.
Overall, a substantial share of library users consisted ofportion of the chart is dedicated to full-time undergraduates, exactly 44%, which was followed bywhich is then followed by full-time postgraduates with 25%. A small fraction is attributed to part-time postgraduates, accounting for 16% , and lastly, the lowest percentage , 8% and 7% respectively were7% and 8% respectively is accounted for by academic staff and distance learners from all the available courses.
As for the table, users reported the highest satisfaction with the helpfulness of the library staff, exactlyroughly 95%, and only 5 % were fairly satisfied with staff helpfulness. Regarding opening hours, 65% of users were very satisfied, while the remaining 35% were fairly satisfied. In addition, half of the individuals were very satisfied withfelt content about the availability of books, with 40% accounted for by users who were fairly satisfied. This contrasts with the other 10%, which showed a were not satisfiedstrong dissatisfaction with this service. Lastly, less than half of the users were satisfied with the availability of journals and the reliability of wi-fi, between 33% and 35% were fairly satisfiedless than 40% were fairly satisfied, and roughly 20% showed dissatisfaction toward these particular services offered by the library.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay clearly reports the detailed information from both visual sources with high data accuracy and a logical structure. The main limitation is that the overview paragraph focuses on detailing specific categories rather than highlighting key overall trends across both visual graphs. To improve, craft a concise overview that summarizes the main trends from both figures before delving into specific data points.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All major categories and satisfaction metrics are accurately covered, though the overview functions more like a mechanical summary of pie chart data rather than a synthesis of main trends.
Include a clear, high-level overview sentence that summarizes key visual trends across both graphics without listing individual data values.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is organized logically by visual source, creating a clear progression throughout the response.
Vary your transitional phrases between sentences to avoid repetitive structural patterns when moving from one category to the next.
Lexical Resource
A good variety of vocabulary is utilized effectively to describe proportions and satisfaction levels.
Refine word choices and phrasing to avoid minor awkwardness, such as when describing percentages associated with specific user categories.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide variety of complex sentence structures and grammatical forms are controlled well with minimal errors.
Eliminate minor punctuation and formatting slips, such as improper spacing before commas.