You have bought a new mobile phone, and in a few days of purchase, it has stopped working. You spoke to the company representative a week ago, but it has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: - Introduce yourself - Explain the situation - Say what action you would like the company to take
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing this letter to express my dissatisfaction with a recent purchase I made in your store, located at Whales Road.
I am Shivani Gupta, a frequent visitor to your shop. Three weeks ago, I bought an iPhone 11 with 128 GB during the summer sale, which turned out to be defective.
The phone seemed to be working fine for few days, and then to my horror, it automatically switched off within a week of purchase. All my efforts to restart it went in vain. The problem does not stop here. When I spoke with after-sales service, I have been assured about the repair within few days. However, regrettably, since that day, there is no proper response to my countless calls to the store.
Having paid a lot of money for this product, I found this extremely frustrating. I would request you look into this matter on priority and arrange a replacement within the next 5 days. If this cannot be addressed, I feel I am entitled to get a full refund.
I anticipate a prompt reply from your side.
Yours faithfully,
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix store preposition Original: in Suggested revision: at Why it matters: ‘At your store’ is the more natural phrase for the place of purchase.
- 2. Specify storage capacity Original: with 128 GB Suggested revision: with 128 GB of storage Why it matters: The quantity needs a noun stating what the capacity measures.
- 3. Add missing article Original: working fine for few days Suggested revision: working fine for a few days Why it matters: The countable time expression requires ‘a few’.
- 4. Use precise result phrase Original: went in vain Suggested revision: were unsuccessful Why it matters: This directly and formally states that the restart attempts failed.
- 5. Align tense and reference Original: does not stop here Suggested revision: did not stop there Why it matters: Past tense and ‘there’ correctly link this transition to the earlier events.
- 6. Use present perfect Original: since that day, there is no proper response Suggested revision: since that day, I have received no proper response Why it matters: ‘Since’ requires a form showing that the lack of response continues to the present.
- 7. Show ongoing frustration Original: found Suggested revision: find Why it matters: Present tense is appropriate because the unresolved problem is still frustrating the writer.
- 8. Fix priority collocation Original: on priority Suggested revision: as a priority Why it matters: ‘As a priority’ is the standard formal collocation.
- 9. Remove redundant phrase Original: a prompt reply from your side Suggested revision: a prompt reply Why it matters: ‘From your side’ is unnecessary because the intended respondent is already clear.
- 10. Remove letter-writing filler Original: writing this letter Suggested revision: writing Why it matters: The purpose is clearer and more concise without explicitly saying ‘this letter’.
- 11. Use street preposition Original: at Suggested revision: on Why it matters: ‘On’ is the standard preposition when naming the street where a shop is located.
- 12. Clarify unexpected shutdown Original: automatically switched off Suggested revision: switched off by itself Why it matters: This wording more clearly conveys that the phone shut down without user action.
Suggested Rewrites
- in at
- with 128 GB with 128 GB of storage
- working fine for few days working fine for a few days
- went in vain were unsuccessful
- does not stop here did not stop there
- since that day, there is no proper response since that day, I have received no proper response
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter is clear, appropriately formal, and well focused on the defective phone, the lack of follow-up, and the requested replacement or refund. The main limitation is a pattern of small grammar and collocation errors that makes several otherwise strong sentences sound less natural; the highest priority is to improve tense consistency and article use while replacing phrases such as 'on priority' with idiomatic formal wording.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response fulfils the communicative purpose, introduces the writer, explains the failure and service problem, and requests a clear remedy in a suitable formal tone.
Make the service timeline slightly more explicit by stating that the representative was contacted a week ago and that the promised repair remains outstanding.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter progresses logically through purpose, purchase details, the unresolved problem, and the requested solution, with clear paragraphing and generally effective linking.
Reduce slightly mechanical transitions such as 'The problem does not stop here' and connect the repair history more smoothly.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise for a formal complaint, although a few phrases such as 'on priority' and 'reply from your side' are not fully natural.
Refine formal collocations by using expressions such as 'as a priority' and 'I look forward to your prompt reply.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response shows a good range of simple and complex structures, but recurring article and tense errors prevent consistently accurate control.
Correct repeated forms such as 'for a few days' and maintain past tense in the account, for example 'I was assured.'
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You have bought a new mobile phone, and in a few days of purchase, it has stopped working. You spoke to the company representative a week ago, but it has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter:
- Introduce yourself
- Explain the situation
- Say what action you would like the company to take
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.