You have bought a new mobile phone and in a few days of purchase, it has stopped working. You spoke to the company representative a week ago but it has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: - introduce yourself - explain the situation - say what action you would like the company to take
Same question Compare all 3 answers See different approaches and band scores for this IELTS task.Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to notify you that I have recently purchased a brand-new mobile phone from your store and it stopped working after a week. I want you to replace this mobile phone with a new one as per the warranty clauses. Three weeks ago I purchased a brand new Nokia X100 mobile phone from your Broadway Avenue store. I was excited to have it but soon disheartened to find that it was a faulty product that stopped working just after a week's use. The problem with the mobile phone started to appear on 25th May and it is completely unusable now. I am very surprised to discover such issues in an expensive model. Naturally, I returned the phone to your store to be replaced with a new one. One of your staff told me that they will send it to my home address within a week. However, two weeks have already passed and I have not received it yet. I am very disappointed with your poor after-sales service. The order number is 54875412 and I am attaching a copy of my receipt for you to look into it. In this regard, I insist on getting a full refund of the purchase amount if the replacement does not happen within the next week. Thank you for giving the matter your attention and I hope to hear your reply soon. Yours faithfully, Joseph Mark
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a formal request Original: I want you to replace Suggested revision: I would like you to replace Why it matters: The revised wording makes the requested action firm but suitably courteous for a company complaint.
- 2. Use natural formal wording Original: as per the warranty clauses Suggested revision: under the terms of the warranty Why it matters: This is a more idiomatic formal phrase for invoking warranty coverage.
- 3. Hyphenate the modifier Original: brand new Nokia X100 mobile phone Suggested revision: brand-new Nokia X100 mobile phone Why it matters: The compound modifier “brand-new” needs a hyphen before the noun.
- 4. Add the linking verb Original: soon disheartened Suggested revision: soon became disheartened Why it matters: A linking verb is needed to connect the subject to the adjective “disheartened.”
- 5. Keep the reference singular Original: such issues Suggested revision: this issue Why it matters: The preceding text describes one main fault, so a singular reference is clearer.
- 6. Use reported speech Original: will send it Suggested revision: would send a replacement Why it matters: Reported speech requires “would,” and naming the replacement removes the vague pronoun.
- 7. Use a precise verb Original: replacement does not happen Suggested revision: I do not receive the replacement Why it matters: A replacement is received or supplied rather than described as “happening.”
- 8. Correct the collocation Original: hear Suggested revision: receive Why it matters: In formal correspondence, a written reply is normally “received,” not “heard.”
- 9. Keep the past timeline Original: have recently purchased Suggested revision: recently purchased Why it matters: The simple past fits the completed purchase and the subsequent fault more consistently.
- 10. Match the stated timeline Original: stopped working after a week Suggested revision: stopped working after only a few days Why it matters: The task states that the phone failed within a few days of purchase.
- 11. Use a concise verb Original: started to appear Suggested revision: first appeared Why it matters: “First appeared” states the onset of the fault more directly.
- 12. Show the result clearly Original: Naturally Suggested revision: Therefore Why it matters: “Therefore” explicitly links the serious fault to the decision to return the phone.
Suggested Rewrites
- I want you to replace I would like you to replace
- as per the warranty clauses under the terms of the warranty
- brand new Nokia X100 mobile phone brand-new Nokia X100 mobile phone
- soon disheartened soon became disheartened
- such issues this issue
- will send it would send a replacement
Why this response received Band 7.5
The complaint is detailed, appropriately firm, and supported with purchase, fault, and follow-up information, making the requested remedy clear. The main weakness is that the response presents slightly inconsistent timings and is delivered as one dense block despite its length. Organise it into purpose, history, and requested-action paragraphs, and align every date and delay precisely with the task situation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The letter establishes the complaint, explains the fault and unsuccessful follow-up in detail, and clearly requests replacement or refund in a suitable formal tone.
Align the purchase, failure, and contact timings exactly with the situation given in the task prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion
The sequence from purchase to malfunction, promised replacement, delay, and remedy is easy to follow, but the entire letter forms one dense paragraph.
Separate the opening purpose, chronological account, and final demand into distinct functional paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is broad and appropriately formal, including precise complaint language, though repeated references to the mobile phone and a few stiff collocations limit flexibility.
Use concise referencing and more natural phrases in place of repeated nouns and expressions such as "giving the matter your attention."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence forms is used accurately, and the few minor tense or reference lapses do not impede meaning.
Maintain consistent reported-time choices, for example using "would send" when recounting the staff member's promise.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You have bought a new mobile phone and in a few days of purchase, it has stopped working. You spoke to the company representative a week ago but it has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter:
- introduce yourself
- explain the situation
- say what action you would like the company to take
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.