In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
Sample Response
Peoples are divided on the issue that countries should encourage the young peoples to do jobs or to travel before attending university. Some people think that it is better for students to attend university, while others believe that travelling and working before joining the university for formal education is better for the students to understand the world. In my opinion, it is very important for students to develop communication, attain maturity and develop professional attitudes and the later approach is the better way of achieving it.
First of all, this will prepare the students for higher education. In the school student are no fully matured. Even some remain childish in thinking and behaviour. In the university, a student will meet with different types of peoples so there require a good understanding and mental maturity stage for that. The university campus provides special and deep knowledge of particular field which require hard working and learning capability. Because university education and teachers prepare the students to survive in the real world on his own basis any place, some prior travel and work experience would even accelerate it more.
Moreover, it will make one to understand the professional life. This will provide important experience to a student to mange theirs studies with work, because in higher studies students have to finance their studies or to work in research laboratories. Working at shop or small office will teach the students to understand the working pressure, cooperation with coworkers and complete the task in schedule. In my school days I worked in a drug selling shop from where I learned how to convince and cool down the angry customer during selling. This, later on, proved to be valuable experience in my university level.
Finally, it gives the chance to improve communication skill. Communication skill is an important part not only at working area but also in learning centre. With excellent speaking and respecting attitudes, one can win the favour of opposing persons. Travelling makes the person to share views and learn various cultures, languages from other peoples. Exchanging opinion enriches one’s speaking ability.
In summation, it is clear that pre-university jobs and travelling are vital experiences. These not only prepare one for civil life and toward maturity but also make one to improve communication skill.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use uncountable people Original: Peoples Suggested revision: People Why it matters: 'People' is already the plural form when referring to individuals generally.
- 2. Correct plural noun Original: peoples Suggested revision: people Why it matters: 'People' does not take an additional plural ending in this context.
- 3. Use natural verb Original: do jobs Suggested revision: work Why it matters: 'Work' is the natural verb for gaining employment experience before university.
- 4. Correct university phrase Original: joining the university Suggested revision: entering university Why it matters: 'Entering university' naturally describes beginning university studies.
- 5. Repair verb structure Original: is better for the students to understand Suggested revision: better helps students understand Why it matters: The revised structure links the activity directly to its benefit without an awkward comparative construction.
- 6. Choose correct word Original: later Suggested revision: latter Why it matters: 'Latter' refers to the second of two options, whereas 'later' refers to time.
- 7. Clarify reference Original: way of achieving it Suggested revision: way to achieve these goals Why it matters: The explicit plural reference clearly links back to the three stated forms of development.
- 8. Correct place phrase Original: In the university Suggested revision: At university Why it matters: The conventional phrase for the educational setting is 'at university'.
- 9. Correct plural noun Original: peoples Suggested revision: people Why it matters: 'People' is already plural when referring to individuals.
- 10. Add clear subject Original: there require Suggested revision: this requires Why it matters: The clause needs a subject and a third-person singular verb referring to the situation.
- 11. Correct causative pattern Original: make one to understand Suggested revision: help one understand Why it matters: 'Help' takes the bare infinitive here and expresses the intended benefit naturally.
- 12. Fix spelling and pronoun Original: mange theirs studies Suggested revision: manage their studies Why it matters: The verb is misspelled and the possessive determiner should be 'their'.
Suggested Rewrites
- Peoples People
- peoples people
- do jobs work
- joining the university entering university
- is better for the students to understand better helps students understand
- later latter
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response presents several relevant advantages of pre-university work or travel and supports them with a useful personal example, while its paragraph sequence is easy to follow. However, it omits the required disadvantages entirely, so the task is only partially fulfilled, and frequent grammatical and collocational errors reduce precision. Add a developed disadvantages section and then revise recurring agreement, article, plural, and verb-pattern errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The advantages are relevant and reasonably developed, but the response does not discuss any disadvantages despite the explicit two-part instruction.
Add at least one fully explained disadvantage, such as financial cost, delayed study habits, or unequal access, and weigh it against the benefits.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clear topic-based paragraphs and straightforward signposting create an understandable progression, though linking is sometimes mechanical and ideas within sentences can be loosely connected.
Use more precise logical links between claims and support, and make each paragraph develop one argument from cause to consequence or example.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate vocabulary for education, work, maturity, and communication, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word forms limit precision.
Learn natural combinations such as gain work experience, manage studies, meet deadlines, and communication skills, while avoiding incorrect plural forms such as peoples.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied sentence structures, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, plurals, pronouns, and verb patterns are evident throughout.
Prioritise subject-verb agreement and infinitive patterns, then proofread noun phrases for correct articles, number, and possessive forms.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.