In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
Sample Response
Taking a study break after high school and before starting university is very common in certain countries. Many people take a year break to either travel and explore different countries or they may take up some job in gain experience. This practice has both pros and cons.
First of all, taking a break could really help in rejuvenating people. When you travel, you gain a lot of experience. Usually, when people are in high school they live under protected home environment; in the case of any problem, you can seek parents and friends help and advice. But when you travel, you are on your own and if you face any problem, you learn to deal with it. This not only gives you the experience to deal with tough situations later in the life but also gives confidence.
Many a times, young people are confused regarding their career options and are often in dilemma regarding the subjects to choose in universities. Taking up a job before university can help in identifying the field of interest and provide relevant experience. At the same time it also makes them financially independent, some students often save money to fund their university study with this. For instance, before starting university, I was confused whether I should go for computer engineering or electronics engineering; but after working in small start up computer company, I realised that I liked coding and would spend hours in front of computers to automate several process. This work experience helped me in clearing up my mind and I was 100 percent confident that this is something I would study and having a career in.
Sometimes taking a break can also have negative impacts on people. When ones start working, people often take up jobs that require low skills yet provide easy money. For example, jobs like salesman, BPO jobs etc. Since people become financially independent, they might continue doing the same job and never join university back. It is quite evident in developed countries where many students take up menial jobs and drop out of universities.
In conclusion, as every coin has two sides; on one side taking a break can really help some people to gain exposure to the world, understand the diversity and make better career choices. On the other side, it may ruin their whole life, easy access to money can restrict their desire to further studies. It is therefore very crucial that one evaluates all the options and take an informed decision
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural recovery phrase Original: help in rejuvenating people Suggested revision: help people recharge Why it matters: Help people recharge is the natural expression for recovering energy.
- 2. Remove unnecessary article Original: later in the life Suggested revision: later in life Why it matters: Later in life is a fixed expression without the definite article.
- 3. Use confidence collocation Original: gives Suggested revision: builds Why it matters: Build confidence is the natural collocation for developing self-assurance.
- 4. Use correct frequency phrase Original: Many a times Suggested revision: Many times Why it matters: Many a takes a singular noun, so the intended plural expression is many times.
- 5. Add indefinite article Original: in dilemma Suggested revision: in a dilemma Why it matters: Dilemma is a singular count noun and requires an article.
- 6. Use university preposition Original: subjects to choose in universities Suggested revision: subjects to choose at university Why it matters: At university is the natural phrase for the educational setting.
- 7. Add object after help Original: help in identifying the field of interest Suggested revision: help them identify their field of interest Why it matters: The revised structure identifies who receives the help and uses the direct infinitive pattern.
- 8. Add articles and hyphen Original: small start up computer company Suggested revision: a small start-up computer company Why it matters: The singular count noun needs an article, and the compound modifier start-up requires a hyphen.
- 9. Use plural noun Original: process Suggested revision: processes Why it matters: Several must be followed by a plural count noun.
- 10. Use decision idiom Original: helped me in clearing up my mind Suggested revision: helped me make up my mind Why it matters: Make up my mind is the fixed expression for reaching a decision.
- 11. Use formal intensifier Original: 100 percent confident Suggested revision: completely confident Why it matters: Completely confident is more appropriate in formal prose than a numerical intensifier.
- 12. Keep verbs parallel Original: this is something I would study and having a career in Suggested revision: this was something I would study and pursue as a career Why it matters: The replacement maintains past-time reference and coordinates two finite-compatible verb phrases.
Suggested Rewrites
- help in rejuvenating people help people recharge
- later in the life later in life
- gives builds
- Many a times Many times
- in dilemma in a dilemma
- subjects to choose in universities subjects to choose at university
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response gives a clear and well-supported account of several benefits, particularly independence and informed career choice, and it also identifies a relevant disadvantage. The negative side is comparatively brief and sometimes overstated, while frequent grammatical and collocational slips reduce precision; the highest priority is to develop a more measured disadvantage with specific explanation and then edit sentence boundaries, articles, and word forms carefully.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both advantages and disadvantages are addressed, with the benefits developed convincingly through explanation and a specific personal example.
Develop the disadvantage beyond a single dropout scenario and avoid exaggerated claims that a gap year may ruin an entire life.
Coherence and Cohesion
The paragraph sequence is clear and the argument progresses logically, though some long sentences contain loosely connected ideas.
Separate run-on sentences and use referencing consistently instead of shifting among 'people', 'you', and personal experience.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is varied enough to discuss experience, careers, and financial independence, but awkward collocations and word-form choices recur.
Use more natural combinations such as 'gain experience', 'clarify my thinking', and 'return to university'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures is attempted successfully, but frequent errors with articles, agreement, possessives, and sentence boundaries remain noticeable.
Proofread each sentence for a complete clause structure and check articles, singular-plural agreement, and possessive forms systematically.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.