In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
Sample Response
It is a popular choice for young students in some countries to travel for a year who have just graduated from high school and are getting readyand ready for university. From my perspective, it is a precious opportunity for secondary school students to engagecontact with society in advance. But it may also undermine their enthusiasm forin furtherfuther university study. On the one hand, it has undeniableundoubtful advantages for students to spend one year working or travelling to broaden their horizons. For a long time of learning in classroom, students should be given a chance to practice their knowledge in practical settingsin reality. It can not only assist them to get in touch with the job-related skills which may be beneficial for their future university study. But also make the youth more independent so that they can confront more adversity in the future.in future. For example, many famous founders of successful companies like NvidiaNVDIA and Apple have a similar history of workingpast that work in society before university study. But on the other hand, one year’s gap may also cause some problems. Oneone of the most influential consequences is that it may cause young students to become lostmake young students lost in society. It means that judgement and self-controlling capacities for a young ageyoung age are not fully formed. When they face various kinds of misleading things, they may lose their original aspirations and directions. It may influence their furtherfuther study passion in university. Others may also commit a crime in a negative environment.a bad surrounding. In my opinion ,we should find the reasons that we have one year’s gap and have a clear recognition of ourselves. If we can keep on walking the path we chose before ,this experience can be of great help.be great help. Meanwhile, if we think we cannot control ourselves well. We should change our mind to find other choices. In conclusion, this is not an either-or question,if we can put thisthese time to good use, this will help us a lot in their future studies.in future study process.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response effectively addresses both the benefits and drawbacks of taking a gap year, offering a clear overall progression and relevant supporting points. However, frequent grammatical mistakes, punctuation errors, and awkward sentence structures occasionally hinder the fluidity of the writing. To raise the essay's quality, the writer should focus on improving grammatical accuracy, sentence boundary control, and mechanical precision.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages with relevant main ideas, though some examples are slightly overgeneralized.
Ensure all supporting examples directly fit the prompt context and are fully explained to strengthen the central arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is logical and the general flow of thoughts is clear, despite some mechanical transitions and fragmented sentences.
Avoid separating co-ordinate clause pairs like 'not only... but also' across sentence boundaries to maintain cohesive linking.
Lexical Resource
An adequate vocabulary range is demonstrated with some flexible expressions, though word choice and spelling errors recur.
Focus on precise word collocations and review spelling for accurate academic word forms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence structures is attempted, but frequent errors in grammar, word order, and basic punctuation are noticeable.
Proofread carefully to eliminate sentence fragments, spacing errors, and misplaced relative clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.