People succeed because of their hard work; luck has nothing to do with success. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
It is believed that people will achieve their goals and have a successful career if they work hard, and luck has no effect on it. To a certain point, I would agree that some people are succeeded due to their diligent and hard working cultures, but I do believe that luck also plays an important part in people's life.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Wrong verb form Original: people are succeeded Suggested revision: people succeed Why it matters: Succeed is normally intransitive here, so it should not be used as a passive form.
- 2. Unnatural collocation Original: hard working cultures Suggested revision: hard-working habits Why it matters: Habits or attitudes fits individuals better than cultures in this sentence.
- 3. Natural collocation Original: plays an important part in people's life Suggested revision: plays an important role in people's lives Why it matters: Important role and plural lives are more natural in this general statement.
- 4. Clarify reference Original: It is believed that people will achieve their goals and have a successful career if they work hard, and luck has no effect on it. Suggested revision: Some people believe that hard work alone enables people to achieve their goals and build successful careers, and that luck has no effect on success. Why it matters: The pronoun it is unclear because it could refer to career, goals, or success.
- 5. Needs development Original: To a certain point, I would agree that some people are succeeded due to their diligent and hard working cultures, but I do believe that luck also plays an important part in people's life. Suggested revision: I partly agree: hard work is essential, but luck can also influence success through timing, opportunities, and social circumstances. Why it matters: This would be a clearer thesis, but it still needs body paragraphs to support it.
- 6. Severely underdeveloped Suggested revision: Expand this into a complete essay of at least 250 words with specific reasons and examples for both hard work and luck. Why it matters: The response is far below the minimum length, so it cannot adequately address the task.
- 7. No paragraph structure Suggested revision: Add separate body paragraphs: one about how effort builds skills, and one about how opportunity or timing can affect outcomes. Why it matters: A single introductory paragraph does not show logical essay progression.
- 8. Give examples Suggested revision: Use examples such as students preparing for exams, entrepreneurs meeting investors, or athletes avoiding injuries to show the balance between effort and luck. Why it matters: Examples are needed to turn the position into a developed argument.
Suggested Rewrites
- people are succeeded people succeed
- hard working cultures hard-working habits
- plays an important part in people's life plays an important role in people's lives
- It is believed that people will achieve their goals and have a successful career if they work hard, and luck has no effect on it. Some people believe that hard work alone enables people to achieve their goals and build successful careers, and that luck has no effect on success.
- To a certain point, I would agree that some people are succeeded due to their diligent and hard working cultures, but I do believe that luck also plays an important part in people's life. I partly agree: hard work is essential, but luck can also influence success through timing, opportunities, and social circumstances.
- Severely underdeveloped Expand this into a complete essay of at least 250 words with specific reasons and examples for both hard work and luck.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The answer states a partial position, agreeing that hard work matters while also saying luck is important. However, it is only 59 words, far below the expected length, and it contains no developed body paragraphs, examples, or explanation.
Write a full essay with an introduction, two developed body paragraphs, and a conclusion, explaining how hard work and luck each contribute to success.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is a single short paragraph. There is a basic contrast from the statement to the writer’s view, but there is almost no progression because the argument stops after the introduction.
Organize the response into separate paragraphs and use topic sentences that develop one main idea at a time.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is understandable and includes relevant words such as goals, successful career, diligent, and luck. Range is limited by the short length, and some collocations are unnatural.
Use more precise success-related vocabulary such as perseverance, opportunity, circumstances, preparation, and career advancement, with examples.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a few complex clauses, but there are noticeable errors in passive structures and word forms. The short answer gives too little evidence of grammatical range.
Practise accurate verb patterns such as succeed, become successful, and hardworking, then apply them across longer supporting paragraphs.