People succeed because of their hard work; luck has nothing to do with success. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
At the present time, people believe that only hardworking people will succeed and there's no place for luck. I totally disagree with the rubric above due to the fact that people cannot earn money without luck and with no luck people won't be able to get a job and it will be proven in the following essay.
Firstly, since the dawn of time people believed to luck, for example, people always carry some kind of talismans or chokers. In the Ireland, people believe that green clover will bring them money and luck. And the situation has not been changed at the present as well. You can hold a questionnaire and ask strangers "do they believe in luck or not?" I'm sure that 100% of people will say ‘yes’; because the luck is an inalienable part of the life of human beings.
Secondly, without luck people won't be able to get even a job. For instance, when people looking for a job, they are searching them on newspapers and magazines and they don't know what expects them there, they only rely on luck and trying to find a suitable job for themselves. Furthermore, even at the school sometimes kids are getting their marks by luck, which means that teachers sometimes can mix up jobs and mark the student wrong. It's also a clear example of luck.
On the other hand, if people will rely on only luck they will not get anything, truly luck is with us but it helps only when we work hard. For example, in difficult situations when people cannot make a choice between something, they are choosing only by their instincts and if they work hard and learn a lot, they know which decision to make, it all comes from experience.
After analysing both sides of this issue, I have concluded that despite the hard work, people always need at least the grain of luck for the successful life.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Wrong reference Original: the rubric above Suggested revision: this statement Why it matters: "Rubric" is not natural for referring to the task statement.
- 2. Overgeneralisation Original: people cannot earn money without luck Suggested revision: luck can sometimes influence opportunities Why it matters: This claim is too absolute and needs a more balanced wording.
- 3. Academic stance Original: it will be proven Suggested revision: I will explain this Why it matters: Avoid claiming that your essay will prove a broad idea.
- 4. Preposition error Original: people believed to luck Suggested revision: people have believed in luck Why it matters: Use "believe in".
- 5. Wrong example word Original: chokers Suggested revision: charms Why it matters: A choker is a necklace, not necessarily a lucky object.
- 6. Article error Original: In the Ireland Suggested revision: In Ireland Why it matters: Do not use "the" before Ireland.
- 7. Verb form Original: has not been changed Suggested revision: has not changed Why it matters: Use the intransitive verb here.
- 8. Indirect question punctuation Original: ask strangers "do they believe Suggested revision: ask strangers whether they believe Why it matters: Use an indirect question structure.
- 9. Article error Original: the luck Suggested revision: luck Why it matters: Do not use "the" when speaking about luck in general.
- 10. Missing verb Original: when people looking Suggested revision: when people are looking Why it matters: The clause needs the auxiliary verb "are".
- 11. Object and preposition Original: searching them on newspapers Suggested revision: searching for jobs in newspapers Why it matters: Use "search for" and "in newspapers".
- 12. Word order Original: what expects them there Suggested revision: what awaits them there Why it matters: This is the correct structure and verb choice.
Suggested Rewrites
- the rubric above this statement
- people cannot earn money without luck luck can sometimes influence opportunities
- it will be proven I will explain this
- people believed to luck people have believed in luck
- chokers charms
- In the Ireland In Ireland
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The essay gives a clear disagreement, but the support is weak, relies on broad claims, and only briefly explains the relationship between luck and hard work.
Use realistic examples showing how opportunity, timing, and effort interact in success.
Coherence and Cohesion
The paragraph structure is clear, but some links are mechanical and the third body paragraph partly contradicts the introduction without being explained enough.
Use each paragraph to develop one reason and connect it clearly to your final position.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary communicates the main ideas but includes wrong collocations and informal or inaccurate examples.
Use precise vocabulary such as "opportunity", "chance", "preparation", and "persistence".
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in verb patterns, articles, conditionals, and sentence boundaries are noticeable, though meaning is usually clear.
Review conditional clauses and verb patterns after "believe", "look for", and "rely on".