People succeed because of their hard work; luck has nothing to do with success. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
"Success is always a journey but not a destination". I feel that success cannot be a place but it is a part and journey of one's own life. The author of this topic says that people succeed in their lives only because of the hard work but not the luck. According to me, both will play vital roles in every individual person's life. In the below paragraphs I will justify how both are important to succeed. Firstly, I would like to say that without hard work even God will not help you out in coming over the things in life. So, one should work hard to earn anything. I say this because there are many people around the world who tasted success because of their immense hard work. It is a sheer illusion that one comes up in life without hard work. For instance, everyone knows about the president of America. He was born in a poor family in Kansas, his father somehow managed to send him to the school for education. Then he really worked hard and secured seats in Columbia University and then to his dedication, he completed his law from Harvard Law University with scholarships and stipends. Now I would like to put emphasis on the luck which is also a required one in success. One may be really hard working but if the place where he or she is residing is underdeveloped then it will be very difficult to achieve the feat. Not only that when we read the stories of great people, we can observe that, they had a coordinating family through which they succeeded, they are not lucky here. One such example is the legendary cricketer Sachin Tendulkar. He is a well-known cricketer in the world. He was such a lucky person that he not only had a very good coach and his parents' support but also got a chance to play international cricket at the age of 16, which I feel is terrific. He used to be busy with the cricket schedule and his wife use to take care of their children, so he is lucky enough to have all this. In the end, I would like to conclude by saying that it is a combination of both hard work and luck that makes a man successful in life in all respects. Having one without another is like a car without any fuel.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Preposition choice Original: a journey but not a destination Suggested revision: a journey, not a destination Why it matters: The comma gives a smoother and more idiomatic contrast.
- 2. Awkward structure Original: cannot be a place but it is a part and journey Suggested revision: is not a place but a part of one's life journey Why it matters: The original repeats ideas and uses an unclear structure.
- 3. Task wording Original: The author of this topic says Suggested revision: The statement argues Why it matters: The essay is responding to a statement, not an author.
- 4. Article error Original: because of the hard work but not the luck Suggested revision: because of hard work, not luck Why it matters: Hard work and luck are general concepts and do not need the here.
- 5. Natural opinion phrase Original: According to me Suggested revision: In my view Why it matters: In my view is more natural in formal academic writing.
- 6. Formal linking Original: In the below paragraphs Suggested revision: In the following paragraphs Why it matters: This is the standard phrase for previewing an essay.
- 7. Unclear phrase Original: coming over the things in life Suggested revision: overcoming difficulties in life Why it matters: The original expression is not idiomatic.
- 8. Collocation Original: tasted success Suggested revision: achieved success Why it matters: Achieved success is more formal and natural.
- 9. Article use Original: send him to the school Suggested revision: send him to school Why it matters: Use school without the article when referring to education generally.
- 10. Wrong collocation Original: secured seats in Columbia University Suggested revision: gained admission to Columbia University Why it matters: Gain admission is the natural phrase for entering a university.
- 11. Topic transition Original: Now I would like to put emphasis on the luck Suggested revision: Luck is also important because Why it matters: This creates a direct link to the second side of the argument.
- 12. Awkward clause Original: which is also a required one in success Suggested revision: which is also required for success Why it matters: The shorter form is grammatical and clearer.
Suggested Rewrites
- a journey but not a destination a journey, not a destination
- cannot be a place but it is a part and journey is not a place but a part of one's life journey
- The author of this topic says The statement argues
- because of the hard work but not the luck because of hard work, not luck
- According to me In my view
- In the below paragraphs In the following paragraphs
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The essay gives a clear disagreement with the statement and discusses both hard work and luck, though some examples are long and not always tightly connected to the claim.
Make the position sharper by explaining exactly how luck supports hard work rather than replacing it.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas generally progress from hard work to luck and then to a conclusion, but paragraphs are not visually separated and some examples become overextended.
Use clear paragraph breaks and keep each example tied to one controlling idea.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary for the topic, but some phrases are informal, repetitive, or inaccurate.
Use more precise expressions such as opportunity, background, support network, persistence, and favourable circumstances.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is usually clear, but frequent article, preposition, agreement, and clause errors reduce control.
Edit long sentences for article use, verb agreement, and punctuation around subordinate clauses.