As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?
Sample Response
Most people do jobs to earn money for their livings. There are various reasons for many people to do jobs. For example, some people do jobs to spend their time in something they like to do, some for the salary, some to utilise their skills and to gather more experience and some to gain social status. Some people even prefer to do a job rather than looking after their family business because they do not like the business. This is why job satisfaction became more versatile to many people who are engaged in different jobs. There are various reasons along with the above-stated factors which are related to job satisfaction. For example, some people are engaged in such a job, that they don't want to do but they couldn't find any other suitable work. This creates dissatisfaction in their mind. Besides, in many cases, dissatisfaction creates due to the surroundings, workplace and ego. As an example, the first job of mine was in City Bank head office which was very much neat and clean. Whenever I entered the office, it gave me peace and a positive inspiration to work. Moreover, the colleagues around me were also very much friendly and helpful. That is why I barely could make a difference with my home. But, when I joined Prime Bank, I found that the employees are not talking to me in a friendly manner as I expected. Their expressions were some sort of rude to me. To overcome the issue I tried to make them easy through various efforts like appreciating their work, offering them a treat after office hour, engage them in sports activity etc. Finally, I would like to say that it is not possible for every person to get satisfaction in their jobs. The main reason is there are various types of people who work in the same place and all do not have the same mindset. Some people will be helpful, some will not be. So, it is very much unrealistic for every worker to experience satisfaction in their jobs. Some people may have a good experience, some people may have a bad experience.
[Essay by - Safayet Ullah]
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fixed expression Original: earn money for their livings Suggested revision: earn a living Why it matters: Earn a living is the standard phrase.
- 2. Natural verb Original: do jobs Suggested revision: work Why it matters: Work is more concise and idiomatic in general statements.
- 3. Tense choice Original: job satisfaction became Suggested revision: job satisfaction becomes Why it matters: Use present tense for a general claim.
- 4. Wrong adjective Original: more versatile to many people Suggested revision: different for each person Why it matters: Versatile does not describe varying satisfaction.
- 5. Remove comma Original: engaged in such a job, that Suggested revision: engaged in a job that Why it matters: Do not separate a restrictive relative clause with a comma.
- 6. Tense consistency Original: they don't want to do but they couldn't Suggested revision: they do not want but cannot Why it matters: Keep the general example in present tense.
- 7. Plural agreement Original: in their mind Suggested revision: in their minds Why it matters: Their refers to multiple people.
- 8. Passive form Original: dissatisfaction creates due to Suggested revision: dissatisfaction is caused by Why it matters: The cause does not create itself.
- 9. Natural possessive Original: the first job of mine Suggested revision: my first job Why it matters: This is more direct and idiomatic.
- 10. Natural collocation Original: positive inspiration Suggested revision: motivation Why it matters: Motivation expresses the intended effect more naturally.
- 11. Unclear comparison Original: barely could make a difference with my home Suggested revision: hardly felt any difference from being at home Why it matters: The original phrase does not convey the comparison clearly.
- 12. Past tense Original: employees are not talking to me Suggested revision: employees did not speak to me Why it matters: The narrative is about a past experience.
Suggested Rewrites
- earn money for their livings earn a living
- do jobs work
- job satisfaction became job satisfaction becomes
- more versatile to many people different for each person
- engaged in such a job, that engaged in a job that
- they don't want to do but they couldn't they do not want but cannot
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response addresses both questions and gives a personal workplace example that illustrates how environment and colleagues affect satisfaction. Nevertheless, the first question is handled through a loose list rather than clearly developed factors, and the long single paragraph, repetition, and frequent grammatical errors obscure the argument. Organise separate answers to each question and express the key factors in concise, accurate topic sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both parts are answered, but relevant factors are listed unevenly and the personal example dominates development.
Develop pay, meaningful work, workplace conditions, and relationships as distinct factors before evaluating universality.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has an overall direction, but it is a single long paragraph with repeated ideas and weak transitions.
Use an introduction, one paragraph on factors, one on realistic expectations, and a short conclusion.
Lexical Resource
Enough vocabulary conveys the ideas, though inaccurate collocations and repeated general words limit precision.
Use established phrases such as earn a living, workplace relationships, and feel at home.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in tense, agreement, articles, and verb patterns reduce control, though meaning is usually recoverable.
Check subject-verb agreement and keep general claims in the present tense.