As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?
Same question Compare 7 different answersSample Response
No matter whether we work for a living or we live for working, this is a stark reality that working covers the majority time of our lives and job satisfaction factors have been always considered important by workers. In the other hand, managers have always tried to increase job satisfaction elements in their companies as they believe that there is a direct relationship between job satisfaction and the company’s profit. Therefore there have been lots of debates about recognising some elements which are most effective on this matter and the ways which company can respond to this kind of worker’s need.
According to science management which has been embedded in Taylor studies, Money is the best element to encourage workers and make them happy from their jobs, but it has been proved that money is not the only factor or enough and some other elements should be implemented to make employees satisfied. For example, making an atmosphere in the workplace which a worker can work without any stress or concern can make a worker’s life easier. These days the culture of a company plays a critical role to contribute to job satisfaction. Put another way, the office culture helps workers to be interested in their jobs or vice versa. For instance, in some cultures, managers just specify some duties for workers and ask them to do. By contrast, some other encourage workers to come to problems, think and improve them which has a deep effect on workers as they don’t find themselves just as a cog in a machine.
However, it is not possible to make all of the workers satisfied in a company as anyone has a different character and individual aspects, at present various ways to get job satisfaction have been recognized and developed and a successful manager is someone who can find the best approach to increase the average of job satisfaction in the company.
I think, therefore, job satisfaction should be considered as the most important topic in management studies and managers should develop some meeting to transfer their experiences about job satisfaction elements to each other. Perhaps in this way, they can find some similar strategies which can be affected by all workers’ job satisfaction in different industries.
[ Essay by - Milad Rahimi]
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct linking phrase Original: In Suggested revision: On Why it matters: The fixed contrastive expression uses “on,” not “in.”
- 2. Use natural collocation Original: increase job satisfaction elements Suggested revision: increase job satisfaction Why it matters: Managers can increase job satisfaction, but they do not increase its elements.
- 3. Clarify cause and focus Original: elements which are most effective on this matter Suggested revision: factors that most affect job satisfaction Why it matters: The replacement states clearly what the factors influence.
- 4. Fix relative structure Original: ways which company can respond Suggested revision: ways in which a company can respond Why it matters: “Ways” requires “in which,” and the singular count noun needs an article.
- 5. Fix number and possession Original: this kind of worker’s need Suggested revision: these workers’ needs Why it matters: The general reference requires plural workers and plural needs.
- 6. Use correct collocation Original: making Suggested revision: creating Why it matters: An atmosphere is created rather than made in this context.
- 7. Add relative preposition Original: which a worker can work Suggested revision: in which a worker can work Why it matters: The relative clause needs “in” to express the setting where work occurs.
- 8. Fix verb pattern Original: plays a critical role to contribute Suggested revision: plays a critical role in contributing Why it matters: The expression “play a role” is followed by “in” and a gerund.
- 9. Supply missing object Original: ask them to do Suggested revision: ask them to perform them Why it matters: The verb “do” lacks an object referring back to the specified duties.
- 10. Use plural pronoun Original: other Suggested revision: others Why it matters: The standalone plural pronoun must be “others.”
- 11. Correct problem collocation Original: come to problems Suggested revision: identify problems Why it matters: Workers identify or encounter problems rather than come to them.
- 12. Clarify actions Original: think and improve them Suggested revision: think about and solve them Why it matters: Problems are considered and solved, not improved.
Suggested Rewrites
- In On
- increase job satisfaction elements increase job satisfaction
- elements which are most effective on this matter factors that most affect job satisfaction
- ways which company can respond ways in which a company can respond
- this kind of worker’s need these workers’ needs
- making creating
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response identifies several relevant contributors to job satisfaction, including pay, workplace atmosphere, organisational culture, and autonomy, and it gives a clear answer that universal satisfaction is unrealistic. However, that second answer is developed only briefly, while awkward phrasing and poorly controlled long sentences sometimes blur otherwise relevant ideas. The priority is to explain individual differences more fully and express each causal relationship in shorter, grammatically controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered with relevant factors and a clear view on universal satisfaction, but the realism discussion is comparatively underdeveloped.
Explain why workers’ differing needs make universal satisfaction unrealistic and support this point with a concrete example.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress through factors, feasibility, and a concluding recommendation, although long sentences and loose connections weaken local coherence.
Organise the factors into distinct supporting points and use shorter sentences to make each cause-and-effect link explicit.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficient range of management and workplace vocabulary, but frequent collocation and word-choice problems make expression uneven.
Learn natural combinations such as “scientific management,” “satisfied with their jobs,” and “improve job satisfaction.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some complex forms are attempted, but frequent errors in articles, agreement, relative clauses, punctuation, and sentence boundaries reduce control.
Break run-on sentences into complete clauses, then check each clause for a clear subject, finite verb, and correct agreement.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.