It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
These days a talent hunt shows are very popular in India. Some people have quite unique talents which are difficult to imagine. For example, a person can create a shadow of different faces of the freedom fighters of India by just using his two hands. It is a debatable topic whether such talents are learned or it is God gifted. Few people are born with a talent. For instance, a two years old child can play multiple drums parallel like a professional musician. I am confident that a child cannot learn such skills at the age of two. Sometimes you inherit such skills from your ancestors. For instance, it is not surprising if a great singer's son can also sing very well. On the other hand, we have a considerable amount of people who are different from their family. For example, a golf world champion belongs to the wrestler’s family. A champion confirmed that his father wanted him to be different than his family. With rigorous training he became would champion at the age of nine. If talent is acquired only by birth than a coaching concept would not have been accepted so widely. It is said that China won 15 medals in one of the Olympic Games. After that, the government started a training program nationwide where kids are being trained in different sports. In two decades China won 15 medals and became number one in that Olympic game. I truly believe that talent can be learned by passion and dedication. We would not have got some of the greatest talents in India like Lata Mangeshkar and Sachin Tendulkar if they stopped trying after their initial failures. If talent is acquired by birth then Mr Amitabh Bachchan would have stopped the acting after continuous nice flop films in the starting of his career, thinking he does not have any inherent acting skill.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Article and plural Original: a talent hunt shows Suggested revision: talent hunt shows Why it matters: The plural noun phrase does not need a.
- 2. Word form Original: it is God gifted Suggested revision: it is a gift from birth Why it matters: God-gifted is informal and the sentence needs a clearer noun phrase.
- 3. Quantifier choice Original: Few people are born with a talent Suggested revision: Some people are born with talent Why it matters: Few means not many, which changes the meaning.
- 4. Age adjective Original: a two years old child Suggested revision: a two-year-old child Why it matters: Use the hyphenated singular form before a noun.
- 5. Unnatural phrase Original: play multiple drums parallel Suggested revision: play several drums at the same time Why it matters: At the same time is the natural expression here.
- 6. Precise wording Original: inherit such skills from your ancestors Suggested revision: inherit such abilities from your parents Why it matters: Abilities is broader than skills, and parents is more precise in this context.
- 7. Countable noun Original: a considerable amount of people Suggested revision: a considerable number of people Why it matters: Use number with countable nouns such as people.
- 8. Article and noun Original: belongs to the wrestler’s family Suggested revision: comes from a wrestling family Why it matters: This is a more natural way to describe family background.
- 9. Comparison Original: different than his family Suggested revision: different from his family Why it matters: Different from is the preferred form in formal writing.
- 10. Wrong word Original: he became would champion Suggested revision: he became world champion Why it matters: Would is the wrong word; the intended noun is world.
- 11. Then or than Original: by birth than a coaching concept Suggested revision: by birth, then the concept of coaching Why it matters: Use then for consequence, not than.
- 12. Vague sequence Original: After that, the government started Suggested revision: In response, the government started Why it matters: This makes the cause-effect relationship clearer.
Suggested Rewrites
- a talent hunt shows talent hunt shows
- it is God gifted it is a gift from birth
- Few people are born with a talent Some people are born with talent
- a two years old child a two-year-old child
- play multiple drums parallel play several drums at the same time
- inherit such skills from your ancestors inherit such abilities from your parents
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The essay discusses both natural talent and training and gives a clear opinion, but some examples are culturally narrow and not always explained in relation to sports or music.
Link each example back to the exact contrast between innate ability and teachable skill.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument moves from born talent to training, but the essay is presented as one paragraph and several transitions are abrupt.
Use separate paragraphs and clearer topic sentences for inherited talent, coaching, and personal opinion.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is generally adequate for the topic, with some good topic words, but there are several wrong word forms and awkward collocations.
Use precise terms such as innate talent, training, coaching, practice, inherited ability, and developed skill.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is a mix of simple and complex structures, but article errors, comparison errors, and verb-form mistakes are frequent.
Check singular/plural noun phrases and conditionals, especially after if and with age expressions.