When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
Nowadays, technological advances and their rapid and wide applications are having a significant impact on a nation’s traditional skills and ways of life. Some argue that such impact is so extraordinary that it would make conventional skills and life styles obsolete. However, I believe they would continue to thrive by providing alternatives to modern ways of life, and innovative ideas for modern technologies.
First of all, traditional skills and ways of life are becoming an alternative solution to the problems caused by “ mainstreamed ” ways of life which are greatly influenced by modern technologies. For instance, a cozy restaurant where traditional, home-brewed beer is served, offers another experience to people who are bored with branded beers that have the same flavor and come out of mass production with new technologies. It is in such a venue where traditional skills are preserved, people become relaxed and educated. Providing diversity and thus enriching modern ways of life, such traditional skills and ways of life would continue to have their place.
Furthermore, conventional skills provide innovative ideas to the development of modern technologies. For example, sparkled by how the word “Love” is traditionally knitted into a sweater by some ethnic minority women in some parts of Asia, some business managers from textile industry have developed some production lines by applying the traditional skills to Computer-Aided Designs (CAD). The products have boosted the companies’ sales which in turn have increased their investment in preserving traditional skills for further developing their technologies.
To conclude, traditional skills and life styles are increasingly becoming a useful alternative to the homogeneity brought by global applications of modern technologies. However, the evolution of technologies is a selection process, whereby some would become obsolete, but there is no doubt that some would thrive when their roles are appreciated.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: rapid and wide applications Suggested revision: rapid, widespread adoption Why it matters: Widespread adoption is a more natural collocation for the growing use of technology.
- 2. Add article Original: such impact is Suggested revision: such an impact is Why it matters: The singular countable noun impact requires an article here.
- 3. Choose standard term Original: “ mainstreamed ” ways of life Suggested revision: mainstream ways of life Why it matters: Mainstream is the standard adjective for widely adopted ways of living.
- 4. Remove subject comma Original: is served, offers Suggested revision: is served offers Why it matters: A comma should not separate the relative clause ending in served from its verb offers.
- 5. Use concise phrasing Original: come out of mass production Suggested revision: are mass-produced Why it matters: The revision expresses the production method more concisely and naturally.
- 6. Fix collocation Original: to Suggested revision: for Why it matters: Ideas for is the appropriate collocation when ideas contribute to development.
- 7. Correct word choice Original: sparkled Suggested revision: inspired Why it matters: Inspired, rather than sparkled, describes the source of the managers' idea.
- 8. Add article Original: managers from textile industry Suggested revision: managers from the textile industry Why it matters: The named industry requires the definite article in this construction.
- 9. Use standard term Original: Computer-Aided Designs (CAD) Suggested revision: computer-aided design (CAD) Why it matters: The established uncountable term is computer-aided design.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: It is in such a venue where traditional skills are preserved, people become relaxed and educated. Suggested revision: In such a venue, traditional skills are preserved while people can relax and learn. Why it matters: The rewrite removes the faulty cleft structure and comma splice while retaining both claims.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: The products have boosted the companies’ sales which in turn have increased their investment in preserving traditional skills for further developing their technologies. Suggested revision: The products have boosted the companies’ sales, which in turn has increased their investment in preserving traditional skills to further develop their technologies. Why it matters: The rewrite clarifies that the rise in sales drives the increased investment and fixes the final purpose phrase.
Suggested Rewrites
- rapid and wide applications rapid, widespread adoption
- such impact is such an impact is
- “ mainstreamed ” ways of life mainstream ways of life
- is served, offers is served offers
- come out of mass production are mass-produced
- to for
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a clear position and develops two distinctive, well-supported reasons for preserving traditional skills, with strong progression from alternative lifestyles to technological innovation. Its main limitation is occasional awkward wording and sentence construction, particularly around the examples; the highest-priority improvement is to express those examples more precisely and revise the few structurally unstable sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly addresses the opinion, maintains a clear disagreement, and develops two relevant arguments with specific support.
Qualify the final acknowledgement that some traditions will disappear so its relationship to the central position is even more explicit.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are sequenced logically, paragraphs have clear purposes, and cohesive devices guide the reader smoothly through the argument.
Tighten the internal flow of the restaurant example by separating its preservation and visitor-benefit claims more cleanly.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a wide and precise vocabulary for technology, cultural preservation, production, and social change, with only occasional awkward choices.
Replace isolated inaccuracies such as sparkled by and refine a few technical collocations for fully natural precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide variety of complex structures is used successfully, but several ambitious sentences contain local construction or article errors.
Correct the unstable cleft sentence about the venue and review participial openings and articles in the textile example.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.