When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
The issue ‘with the development of the technology traditional skills and the conventional lifestyle die’ is a controversial one and needs deeper argument before supporting or opposing the issue. Overall, I disagree with the opinion expressed; I would like to begin by pointing out that ‘traditional skills and ways of life’ are not totally vanished from one country, culture or community because of the introduction of technology. In many ways, the history of civilisation is the history of technology: from the discovery of fire to the invention of the wheel to the development of the Internet we have been moving on from previous ways of doing things. Some technologies, such as weapons of mass destruction, are of negative impact. Others, such as medical advances, positively help people to live better or longer, and so very much help traditional ways of life. Surely, few people would seek to preserve such traditions as living in caves. Technology will always follow its own footsteps no matter what we, some people think about it. Technology advances because we need it. So there is no way to prevent the advancement of the technology but we should embrace it positively. The generation of a country is responsible for preserving their own custom and tradition and if people feel eager to save a tradition then there is no way technological advancement will destroy it. There are many cases where technology replaces human labour to create certain things, for example, handmade sari, which is still popular in many countries. Technology, in this case, has not destroyed the old tradition but has introduced a faster and less expensive ways to create the same thing. Interestingly, technology can positively contribute to the keeping alive of traditional skills and ways of life. For example, the populations of some islands are too small to have normal schools. Rather than breaking up families by sending children to the mainland, education authorities have been able to use the Internet to deliver schooling online. In addition, the Internet, and modern refrigeration techniques are being used to keep alive the traditional skills of producing salmon; it can now be ordered from, and delivered to, anywhere in the world. In conclusion, without suggesting that all technology is necessarily good, I think it is by no means ‘pointless’, in any way, to try to keep traditions alive with technology. We should not ignore technology because it can be our friend and support our way of life.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix verb form Original: are Suggested revision: have Why it matters: 'Vanish' is intransitive, so the present perfect active form is required.
- 2. Use general determiner Original: one Suggested revision: any Why it matters: 'Any' correctly expresses the broad negative generalisation intended here.
- 3. Separate introductory series Original: the Internet we have Suggested revision: the Internet, we have Why it matters: A comma is needed after the extended introductory series before the main clause.
- 4. Use natural collocation Original: are of negative impact Suggested revision: have a negative impact Why it matters: The standard collocation is 'have a negative impact'.
- 5. Remove redundancy Original: positively help people Suggested revision: help people Why it matters: 'Help' already carries a positive meaning, making the adverb redundant.
- 6. Correct idiom Original: follow its own footsteps Suggested revision: continue to advance Why it matters: Technology does not naturally 'follow its own footsteps'; the revision states the intended continuation directly.
- 7. Fix coordinated subject Original: what we, some people think about it Suggested revision: what we or some other people think about it Why it matters: The comma cannot coordinate the two alternative subjects in this clause.
- 8. Remove unnecessary article Original: advancement of the technology Suggested revision: advancement of technology Why it matters: 'Technology' is used as a general uncountable concept and does not take 'the'.
- 9. Use accurate subject Original: generation Suggested revision: people Why it matters: 'Generation' does not refer naturally to all those responsible for preserving national traditions.
- 10. Use plural nouns Original: their own custom and tradition Suggested revision: their own customs and traditions Why it matters: The general reference requires plural count nouns.
- 11. Use concise phrasing Original: feel Suggested revision: are Why it matters: 'Are eager' is the natural and concise expression of willingness.
- 12. Fix number agreement Original: a faster and less expensive ways Suggested revision: faster and less expensive ways Why it matters: The singular article cannot modify the plural noun 'ways'.
Suggested Rewrites
- are have
- one any
- the Internet we have the Internet, we have
- are of negative impact have a negative impact
- positively help people help people
- follow its own footsteps continue to advance
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response's strongest feature is its clear disagreement and sustained attempt to show that technology can coexist with or even preserve traditional practices, using several relevant examples. Its main limitation is that the single long paragraph creates weak structural control, while some examples and formulations are only partly convincing or precise; the highest priority is to divide the argument into focused paragraphs and explain the relevance of each example more rigorously.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and supported with several developed ideas, although some examples are tangential or insufficiently tied to traditional skills.
Select more directly relevant traditions and explicitly show how technology preserves each one rather than merely changing modern life.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument has a discernible progression and generally appropriate linking, but presenting the entire response as one paragraph substantially weakens organisation.
Use an introduction, two focused body paragraphs with distinct controlling ideas, and a separate conclusion to clarify the argumentative sequence.
Lexical Resource
The response displays a broad vocabulary appropriate to technology and tradition, but recurring awkward collocations and imprecise word choices reduce naturalness.
Replace expressions such as needs deeper argument and follow its own footsteps with concise, idiomatic academic phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex sentence forms is attempted and meaning remains clear, though agreement, article, punctuation, and sentence-control errors are noticeable.
Check agreement and noun forms carefully, and split overloaded sentences so that each clause has a clear grammatical relationship.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.