When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
Many people think that traditional cultures will vanish due to the rapid development of new technology. Therefore, it is useless to spend some time for preserving the traditional ways of life. To a certain point, I would agree that modern technology has brought some benefits to our life. But I disagree if we should abandon all the old fashioned cultures, as I believe that some traditional ways are still beneficial for us. It is a fact that many traditional ways have disappeared due to the existence of new technology. Many people have abandoned their traditional ways and equipment, as they become more productive with the modern tools. For example, instead of using carts and manpower, many farmers in develop countries are using tractors and bulldozers to cultivate their plants these days. By using these machines, it saves a lot of times, money and energy. Therefore, many people prefer to use modern technology than to maintain the traditional ways. Despite the benefits of modern technology, some traditional ways of life are still important and valid for our lives nowadays. One of the examples is that people in the past are concerned about honesty and integrity. In the olden days, people did business based on trust and respect, as they had no contracts and due to the lack of paper resources. In the modern world, legalised agreement become an essential part of a business deal due to some parties might do any illegal and inappropriate act. These kinds of traditional cultures should be preserved and carry forward to the future generation. In conclusion, to a certain extent, I would agree that some traditional cultures should be abandoned and replace with technology and modern ways. But, some of the traditional ways are still valid and applicable to the modern world, and it is necessary to maintain and preserve them.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix spend structure Original: spend some time for preserving Suggested revision: spend time preserving Why it matters: Spend time is followed directly by an -ing form.
- 2. Use extent phrase Original: point Suggested revision: extent Why it matters: To a certain extent is the standard expression for partial agreement.
- 3. Use plural reference Original: life Suggested revision: lives Why it matters: The plural possessive our refers to multiple people's lives.
- 4. Use correct content clause Original: if Suggested revision: that Why it matters: Disagree takes a that-clause for the proposition being rejected.
- 5. Use standard preposition Original: for Suggested revision: to Why it matters: Beneficial to is the standard formal collocation.
- 6. Name technology adoption Original: existence Suggested revision: adoption Why it matters: Adoption identifies the change that displaces traditional practices.
- 7. Clarify causal subject Original: as they become more productive with the modern tools Suggested revision: because modern tools make them more productive Why it matters: The revision makes the tools the clear cause of greater productivity.
- 8. Use adjective form Original: develop Suggested revision: developing Why it matters: Developing is the adjective required before countries.
- 9. Use farming collocation Original: plants Suggested revision: crops Why it matters: Cultivate crops is the natural farming collocation.
- 10. Fix preference comparison Original: prefer to use modern technology than to maintain the traditional ways Suggested revision: prefer using modern technology to maintaining traditional ways Why it matters: Prefer takes parallel gerunds linked by to.
- 11. Use natural relevance phrase Original: valid for our lives nowadays Suggested revision: relevant to our lives today Why it matters: Relevant to expresses present usefulness more naturally.
- 12. Use singular example Original: One of the examples is that Suggested revision: One example is that Why it matters: The sentence introduces a single example, so of the examples is unnecessary.
Suggested Rewrites
- spend some time for preserving spend time preserving
- point extent
- life lives
- if that
- for to
- existence adoption
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay sustains a clear qualified position: technology can replace inefficient practices, but valuable traditions should be preserved. Its strongest feature is the balanced structure and practical farming example; the main limitation is that the preservation case treats honesty as a tradition without clearly explaining how technology threatens it, and the business-contract discussion is confusing. Use a directly relevant cultural skill or lifestyle example, explain its preservation value, and correct frequent agreement and word-form errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A consistent partial-disagreement position is developed through technological efficiency and continued traditional value, but the preservation example is only loosely connected to technological change.
Use a threatened skill such as traditional craftwork or farming knowledge and explain its cultural, economic, or environmental value.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically from technological replacement to reasons for preservation and a consistent conclusion, although the dense single block limits clarity.
Separate the introduction, technological benefits, preservation case, and conclusion into focused paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate vocabulary for technology and tradition, but inaccurate combinations such as "spend time for preserving," "develop countries," and "legalised agreement" recur.
Use precise phrases such as "spend time preserving," "developing countries," "legal agreements," and "pass traditions on."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied structures, but agreement, word-form, article, comparison, and passive errors occur frequently.
Correct forms such as "farmers in developing countries," "saves time," "prefer technology to traditional methods," and "should be preserved and passed on."
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IELTS Writing Task 2
When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.