When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Same question Compare 2 different answersSample Response
During the last century, science and technology have expanded to a great extent. As a nation focuses more on technology, it is true that the conventional skills and previous lifestyle vanishes. I strongly agree that there is no point in retaining them. This can be proven by analysing how technology can save a lot of time as well as be accurate enough. It is apparent that the latest machines can do a lot of work with minimal time. For instance, in a construction industry, a crane can lift a block of heavy materials within a fraction of a minute. By using the traditional skills, it will take at least a day to uplift bulky items to the top of a building. Thus, it is obvious that it makes no sense on focusing on previous skills and ways. Similarly, when automated machines can sew more than thousands of clothes, there is no point to involve manual labour to produce only hundred per day! It is a fact that almost all industries prefer computers for account related tasks as they are very much accurate and faster. For example, consider a bank which has to calculate the turnover for its past decade. By using a software it would be possible to get the exact value. Even though there are a lot of algorithms used by old generation, it is not guaranteed that the calculation will be so precise and faster. Hence it is clear that there is no much benefit in focusing on traditional expertise. By analysing how science has helped in getting the work done faster with precise results, it is very clear that there is no much advantage in retaining old skills and lifestyle. It is considered that the community will create this awareness among the masses.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a time expression Original: with minimal time Suggested revision: in very little time Why it matters: Work is completed “in” an amount of time, not “with” time.
- 2. Use the definite article Original: a Suggested revision: the Why it matters: The established sector is referred to as “the construction industry.”
- 3. Clarify the load Original: a block of heavy materials Suggested revision: a heavy load of materials Why it matters: “A heavy load of materials” naturally describes what a crane lifts.
- 4. Fix the infinitive pattern Original: makes no sense on focusing Suggested revision: makes no sense to focus Why it matters: The expression “make no sense” takes a following infinitive with “to.”
- 5. Name the traditions clearly Original: previous skills and ways Suggested revision: traditional skills and ways of life Why it matters: The revision uses the task's precise terms and completes the phrase “ways of life.”
- 6. Fix the quantity phrase Original: more than thousands of clothes Suggested revision: thousands of garments Why it matters: “Thousands of” cannot follow “more than” without a specific number, and “garments” is precise here.
- 7. Use the gerund pattern Original: there is no point to involve Suggested revision: there is no point in involving Why it matters: The fixed expression is “there is no point in” followed by a gerund.
- 8. Add the article Original: only hundred per day Suggested revision: only a hundred per day Why it matters: The quantity “hundred” requires the article “a” when no other number precedes it.
- 9. Use parallel comparatives Original: very much accurate and faster Suggested revision: much more accurate and faster Why it matters: Both coordinated adjectives must use comparative forms.
- 10. Use a defining relative Original: which Suggested revision: that Why it matters: “That” clearly introduces a defining relative clause identifying the example bank.
- 11. Fix the time preposition Original: turnover for its past decade Suggested revision: turnover over the previous decade Why it matters: A total covering a period is calculated “over” that period.
- 12. Remove the article Original: By using a software Suggested revision: By using software Why it matters: “Software” is uncountable and does not take the article “a.”
Suggested Rewrites
- with minimal time in very little time
- a the
- a block of heavy materials a heavy load of materials
- makes no sense on focusing makes no sense to focus
- previous skills and ways traditional skills and ways of life
- more than thousands of clothes thousands of garments
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear position and supports its case with concrete examples of speed and accuracy in construction, manufacturing, and banking. However, its argument is repetitive and treats traditional practices mainly as inefficient labour, leaving traditional ways of life and the possible value of preservation largely unexplored. The highest-priority improvement is to develop a broader comparison that directly explains why cultural as well as practical traditions need not be retained.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is supported by relevant examples, but the discussion narrowly equates tradition with inefficient manual work and underdevelops the ways-of-life aspect.
Address both traditional skills and cultural ways of life, and explain why their possible value is outweighed by technological benefits.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas follow a broadly clear progression from speed to accuracy, although repetition and the absence of effective paragraphing weaken organisation.
Separate the introduction, each main reason, and the conclusion into clear paragraphs while reducing repeated claims about there being no benefit.
Lexical Resource
The response uses sufficient topic vocabulary, but several awkward collocations and word choices reduce precision.
Use more natural combinations such as save time, preserve traditions, accounting tasks, and little benefit, checking countable nouns and articles.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates meaning clearly, despite recurring agreement, article, comparison, and noun-form errors.
Prioritise subject-verb agreement and accurate noun phrases, especially in constructions involving singular subjects, quantities, and comparisons.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.