When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
Increasingly technological developments are aggressively pushing traditional lifestyle and skills out of the picture. Some believe that this diminishing process is too extraordinary to stop or reverse. However, I believe that valuable traditions will be preserved in particular ways by providing alternative ways of living, and being inspirations for modern technology developments. First of all, traditional lifestyle and skills are gradually becoming popular recently, particularly among young people who live in a busy urban area, by offering alternative ways of life. For instance, a cosy country style Thai restaurant where traditional cooking herbs and vegetables are freshly harvested from its own backyard garden, and spices are 100% homemade with traditional spicy preserving skills, has drawn much attention and popularity from people who are bored of mass produced food and the highly industrialised environment. Such traditional skills and way of life would continue to have their place in this modern era. Furthermore, conventional skills can be a great source of inspirations for modern technologies development. Evidence have shown that engineers and designers of modern times are still constantly inspired by the traditional skills. For example, sparked by a traditional bamboo braiding skills from a rural Asian area, a world widely famous furniture designer, working with equally talented engineers, invented production lines to manufacture designed modern furniture that however has that particular traditional braid style touch. Such inspiration has boosted the business, therefore, in turn, would result in more money allocated for preserving those valuable skills for further development. To conclude, although it is hard to stop most of our traditional skills and ways of life vanishing from this modern world, some traditional skills and lifestyle would not just survive, but also thrive by proving alternative ways of living and being innovative for modern technology.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use the adjective form Original: Increasingly technological developments Suggested revision: Increasing technological development Why it matters: ‘Increasingly’ modifies an adjective or adverb, while ‘increasing’ directly describes the development.
- 2. Use precise wording Original: are aggressively pushing Suggested revision: are rapidly displacing Why it matters: ‘Rapidly displacing’ expresses the change more precisely than the emotive phrase ‘aggressively pushing’.
- 3. Name the decline clearly Original: this diminishing process Suggested revision: this decline Why it matters: ‘Diminishing process’ is not a natural expression for the loss of traditions.
- 4. Use the intended adjective Original: extraordinary Suggested revision: extensive Why it matters: ‘Extensive’ conveys scale, whereas ‘extraordinary’ means unusual or remarkable.
- 5. Use concise wording Original: particular Suggested revision: specific Why it matters: ‘Specific’ more directly introduces the mechanisms that follow.
- 6. Use adjectival form Original: technology Suggested revision: technological Why it matters: The adjective ‘technological’ is needed to modify ‘developments’.
- 7. Align tense and time Original: are gradually becoming popular recently Suggested revision: have recently become more popular Why it matters: The present perfect works with ‘recently’, while ‘gradually’ conflicts with the stated recent change.
- 8. Generalise with plurals Original: live in a busy urban area Suggested revision: live in busy urban areas Why it matters: The general group of young people is more naturally associated with plural urban areas.
- 9. Use natural wording Original: cooking Suggested revision: culinary Why it matters: ‘Culinary herbs’ is the natural term for herbs used in cooking.
- 10. Use formal wording Original: spices are 100% homemade Suggested revision: spices are entirely homemade Why it matters: ‘Entirely’ is more appropriate than a percentage symbol in formal prose.
- 11. Name the technique clearly Original: traditional spicy preserving skills Suggested revision: traditional spice-preservation techniques Why it matters: The revision correctly identifies techniques for preserving spices rather than ‘spicy’ skills.
- 12. Use parallel plurals Original: way Suggested revision: ways Why it matters: The coordinated general nouns should both be plural.
Suggested Rewrites
- Increasingly technological developments Increasing technological development
- are aggressively pushing are rapidly displacing
- this diminishing process this decline
- extraordinary extensive
- particular specific
- technology technological
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay maintains a clear disagreement and develops two relevant ways traditions can survive: offering an alternative lifestyle and inspiring modern design. Its strongest feature is the use of extended examples, while the main limitation is that these examples are expressed through long, awkward sentences and the case for active preservation remains somewhat indirect. The priority is to connect each example explicitly to why preservation is worthwhile and simplify the language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is supported by two relevant, extended examples, though the argument for deliberate preservation is more implied than directly developed.
After each example, explain explicitly why maintaining the underlying skill justifies time, funding or institutional support.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a logical two-part progression, but the single-block presentation and heavily extended examples make progression less easy to follow.
Separate the introduction, two main arguments and conclusion into distinct paragraphs, with shorter explanation-example links.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a good range of vocabulary, but frequent awkward collocations and inaccurate word forms reduce precision.
Use natural phrases such as "technological development", "a source of inspiration", "traditional bamboo-braiding skills" and "world-famous".
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is attempted, but agreement, article and sentence-construction errors recur and sometimes strain readability.
Break long sentences into controlled clauses and check forms such as "evidence has shown", "a traditional skill" and "would result".
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IELTS Writing Task 2
When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.