When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
Whether the technology and its influences kill the traditional way of life and whether should we try to preserve the tradition is a controversial issue and required an in-depth argument before deciding. In my opinion, the technology definitely traditional skills, expertise and way of life change and the change might be slow for many societies but it is a sure thing. About the later part of the argument: ‘whether it is pointless to try to preserve those’ is something I opine that that should not be imposed on people. Who want to maintain the traditional way of living rather than embracing the technology should be given the option. The history suggests us that the new invention and technology have greatly changed the way people live and mostly these changes help them to choose for better alternatives. People who used to cultivate lands with the plough and cow in many years before and that was a kind of skill that became obsolete with the invention of the motorized irrigation system. People might have lost the skill they had but the technology helped them to produce more crops than ever before. With the invention of cell the phone, the internet, television, refrigerator people have definitely adopted a different lifestyle than they had many years ago and those changes, in my opinion, are important to ensure a better life. We would not blame the medical science for killing the traditional unscientific treatment and would widely accept it. In most of the cases, people used to do things manually and with the widespread of technology they have started relying on technology than their own skill and that has caused the loss of traditional skill. But we have to bear in mind that many technologies have been replaced by newer ones and people always try to take the easy and better alternatives. About the importance of conserving the traditional skill and way of life, I would say when technology offers us a better alternative, we should cordially accept that but we should also respect the people who among us maintain the old way of life. Technology would knowingly and unknowingly influence our life but we should not make it a must for everybody.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add missing antecedent Original: Who want to maintain Suggested revision: Those who want to maintain Why it matters: The relative clause needs the antecedent those to function as the sentence subject.
- 2. Remove unnecessary article Original: embracing the technology Suggested revision: embracing technology Why it matters: Technology is used generally here and does not take the definite article.
- 3. Correct verb pattern Original: The history suggests us Suggested revision: History shows us Why it matters: Suggest does not take a person as an indirect object in this construction.
- 4. Use plural nouns Original: the new invention and technology have Suggested revision: new inventions and technologies have Why it matters: The plural verb have requires plural subjects when referring to developments generally.
- 5. Place adverb naturally Original: mostly these changes Suggested revision: these changes generally Why it matters: The adverb belongs after the subject in this clause.
- 6. Remove incorrect preposition Original: choose for better alternatives Suggested revision: choose better alternatives Why it matters: Choose takes a direct object and does not require for.
- 7. Add coordinating comma Original: skill they had but Suggested revision: skill they had, but Why it matters: A comma is required before but when it joins two independent clauses.
- 8. Complete the list Original: the internet, television, refrigerator Suggested revision: the internet, television, and refrigerators Why it matters: The final item needs a coordinating conjunction, and refrigerator should be plural for a general reference.
- 9. Correct comparison preposition Original: than Suggested revision: from Why it matters: Different from is the standard comparison form in formal English.
- 10. Remove unnecessary article Original: the medical science Suggested revision: medical science Why it matters: Medical science is an uncountable general field and does not take the definite article.
- 11. Use plural reference Original: treatment Suggested revision: treatments Why it matters: The general reference to treatment methods requires the plural noun.
- 12. Remove unnecessary article Original: In most of the cases Suggested revision: In most cases Why it matters: The fixed general expression is in most cases.
Suggested Rewrites
- Who want to maintain Those who want to maintain
- embracing the technology embracing technology
- The history suggests us History shows us
- the new invention and technology have new inventions and technologies have
- mostly these changes these changes generally
- choose for better alternatives choose better alternatives
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response takes a recognisable, nuanced position and uses relevant examples to explain how technology can replace older practices while preserving individual choice. However, the argument is compressed into one long paragraph, and frequent grammatical and collocational errors repeatedly disrupt clarity. The highest-priority improvement is to reorganise the essay into a clear introduction, developed body paragraphs, and conclusion, while revising sentence structure for accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both technological change and preservation, with a discernible position and relevant examples, but some reasoning is imprecise or insufficiently developed.
State the degree of agreement more directly and develop separate reasons for accepting technological change and protecting voluntary traditions.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a broadly understandable sequence, but presenting the entire essay as one paragraph seriously weakens organisation and makes progression difficult to follow.
Divide the response into an introduction, distinct body paragraphs with clear controlling ideas, and a concise conclusion.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to discuss the topic with some flexibility, but inaccurate collocations and word choices occur frequently.
Use more natural combinations such as ‘adopt better alternatives’ and ‘rely more on technology than on manual skills’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied and complex sentences, but frequent errors in word order, agreement, articles, and clause formation sometimes strain meaning.
Build complete subject-verb clauses first, then check agreement and article use before combining them into longer sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.