When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
Technology is an important thing in people’s life and it clearly helps us to adapt with the period of development. I disagree with an opinion that, when technology develops in a country, the traditional skills disappear. There are two reasons that I will describe related to this case; which is traditional skills can combine with technology and traditional skills still have a great position in order to technological development. On the one hand, traditional skill is the heritage from our ancestor. So we have responsibilities to take care for it. The development of technology is huge advantages for ‘traditional skills’. Using the technology we can improve these skills and while trying to introduce new innovations to combine technology and traditional skills. For instance, ‘hand art painting’ is one of the traditional skills, people can make a new creation by using technology touching use ‘Photoshop’. The combination between hand art painting and Photoshop software will be a great innovation. People can create great works and earn a lot by doing this. On another hand, although the technology is developing sharply, the traditional skill used products are still having a high position in the marketing field. For example, Indonesian traditional stuff namely ‘Songket’ is still creating great improvement in the sale. In my hometown, an industrial Songket factory, in the end of 2014, received order 2000 to 3000 pieces ‘songket’ stuff from some country including USA, Italy, Japan and Vietnam. It proofs that traditional products still stand up till now. To sum up, traditional skills are still alive though the technology is increased dramatically. It still has a special place in people’s life. Also, traditional skills’ popularity will increase if people try to combine both traditional skills and technology.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Wrong preposition Original: with Suggested revision: to Why it matters: The verb 'adapt' takes 'to' before the situation being adjusted to.
- 2. Use definite article Original: an Suggested revision: the Why it matters: The sentence refers to the specific opinion stated in the task.
- 3. Fix number agreement Original: traditional skill is the heritage Suggested revision: traditional skills are a heritage Why it matters: The general plural subject requires the plural verb 'are'.
- 4. Use plural noun Original: ancestor Suggested revision: ancestors Why it matters: Heritage is inherited collectively from multiple earlier generations.
- 5. Natural noun form Original: have responsibilities Suggested revision: have a responsibility Why it matters: A general duty is expressed idiomatically with the singular countable phrase.
- 6. Correct verb phrase Original: take care for it Suggested revision: preserve them Why it matters: 'Preserve' clearly expresses protecting traditional skills and agrees with the plural referent.
- 7. Fix clause structure Original: The development of technology is huge advantages Suggested revision: Technological development offers huge advantages Why it matters: The original linking-verb construction incorrectly equates a singular process with plural advantages.
- 8. Clarify opening phrase Original: Using the technology Suggested revision: By using technology, Why it matters: 'By using' correctly introduces the means by which the skills can be improved.
- 9. Correct collocation Original: between Suggested revision: of Why it matters: 'Combination of' is the natural phrase for two elements brought together.
- 10. Fix linking phrase Original: On another hand Suggested revision: On the other hand Why it matters: The established contrastive linker uses the definite article 'the'.
- 11. Natural technology collocation Original: developing sharply Suggested revision: advancing rapidly Why it matters: Technology typically 'advances rapidly' rather than 'develops sharply'.
- 12. Clarify noun phrase Original: traditional skill used products Suggested revision: products made using traditional skills Why it matters: The revised phrase makes the relationship between the products and skills grammatical and clear.
Suggested Rewrites
- with to
- an the
- traditional skill is the heritage traditional skills are a heritage
- ancestor ancestors
- have responsibilities have a responsibility
- take care for it preserve them
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response presents a clear disagreement and supports it with two relevant examples, so its central message is consistently understandable. Its main limitation is the frequent inaccurate grammar and awkward word choice, which sometimes obscure otherwise sensible development and make the argument sound imprecise. The highest priority is to build accurate sentence patterns and collocations while explaining each example's connection to the position more explicitly.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and supported by two relevant ideas, though parts of the reasoning and examples remain imprecisely explained.
Explain exactly how each example proves that traditional skills can survive technological development and why preservation remains worthwhile.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses through a clear introduction, two main ideas, and a conclusion, but linking is sometimes mechanical or inaccurate.
Use accurate transitions between complete sentences and make the logical relationship between each claim and example more explicit.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficient for the topic and includes some less common terms, but frequent collocation and word-form errors reduce precision.
Replace awkward combinations with natural phrases such as technological development, traditional products, and received orders from several countries.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of simple and complex structures is attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, clauses, and sentence boundaries weaken control.
Prioritize complete clause structures and check subject-verb agreement, articles, and singular-plural forms in every sentence.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.