There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?
Sample Response
Each country has its own unique music style. For instance, Opera and Jazz music are famous in western countries and on the other hand, India and Spain are famous for classical music style for salsa dancing. Globally information technology has made tremendous progress. Information technology has invented numerous sophisticated devices to play music anywhere anytime. People tend to listen to music depending on their mood. They tend to listen to sad music if they feel down or sad. It has become a popular trend to listen to music while doing Yoga or doing exercise in the gymnasium. Listening music while doing sports activities can boost energy level and brings the passion of sports in mind. Music is kind of daily activity nowadays and is considered as the food of souls according to many people. Furthermore, some students play music while solving math equations. According to students, math is only the subject which can be studied while playing music. On the other hand, for example in the huge shopping centres, the background music is played 24/7. Because people love shopping and walking in the malls. However, the traditional music of any country is very important and plays a vital role. For instance, traditional music expresses that what we belong to and what is our culture. A country is judged by its heritage and traditional music. If a country is rich of traditional music then it is possible that it can be popular around the world. But nowadays, young children are addicted to listening international music. They are not even aware of their culture and traditional music. New generation is following the Western music style. It is the responsibility of parents to give them the knowledge of their traditional music. In the conclusion, actually, everyone has a perception of listening to his/her favourite music. But in most countries, people avoid taking interest in traditional music. Therefore, most of the countries are losing the value of their culture and traditional music. At last, the main responsibility of parents is to aware children to listen and introduce traditional music to the world.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use lowercase Original: Opera Suggested revision: opera Why it matters: The name of a music genre is not capitalized in this context.
- 2. Capitalize the cultural term Original: western Suggested revision: Western Why it matters: Western is conventionally capitalized when it refers to a broad cultural region.
- 3. Separate the music traditions Original: classical music style for salsa dancing Suggested revision: classical music and salsa dancing Why it matters: The original wording incorrectly presents salsa dancing as a classical music style.
- 4. Punctuate the opener Original: Globally information technology Suggested revision: Globally, information technology Why it matters: A comma should separate the introductory adverb from the main clause.
- 5. Use a logical subject Original: Information technology has invented Suggested revision: Technological advances have produced Why it matters: Technology does not itself invent devices, so the replacement supplies a logical agent.
- 6. Separate the adverbials Original: anywhere anytime Suggested revision: anywhere, at any time Why it matters: The comma and preposition clearly separate the two related adverbial expressions.
- 7. Use lowercase yoga Original: Yoga Suggested revision: yoga Why it matters: Yoga is a common noun and should be lowercase here.
- 8. Use natural phrasing Original: doing exercise Suggested revision: exercising Why it matters: Exercising is the concise and idiomatic expression for this activity.
- 9. Add the preposition Original: Listening music Suggested revision: Listening to music Why it matters: The verb listen requires the preposition to before its object.
- 10. Use the plural noun Original: level Suggested revision: levels Why it matters: The general effect on people's energy is naturally expressed with the plural levels.
- 11. Match the compound verb Original: brings Suggested revision: bring Why it matters: The modal can governs both coordinated verbs, so bring must remain in the base form.
- 12. Use a natural expression Original: the passion of sports in mind Suggested revision: a passion for sport Why it matters: Passion for sport expresses the intended idea clearly and idiomatically.
Suggested Rewrites
- Opera opera
- western Western
- classical music style for salsa dancing classical music and salsa dancing
- Globally information technology Globally, information technology
- Information technology has invented Technological advances have produced
- anywhere anytime anywhere, at any time
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response offers numerous relevant reasons for listening to music and clearly values traditional music as a carrier of cultural identity. Its effectiveness is limited by shallow comparison with international music, a single unbroken paragraph, repetition, and frequent language errors. Prioritise a clear two-part structure with separate developed answers, then support the claimed greater importance of traditional music through direct comparison rather than repeated assertions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both questions and expresses a preference for traditional music, but supporting ideas are uneven and the comparison is underdeveloped.
Explain directly why preserving cultural identity outweighs the benefits of international music, using one focused comparison.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a recognisable movement from the uses of music to traditional music, but the single paragraph, abrupt shifts, and mechanical linking weaken progression.
Organise the response into an introduction, one paragraph for why music is needed, one comparative paragraph, and a concise conclusion.
Lexical Resource
The response has sufficient topic vocabulary to convey its views, but repetition and frequent inaccurate collocations reduce precision.
Learn natural patterns such as 'listen to music,' 'rich in musical traditions,' and 'make children aware of their heritage.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts varied sentence forms, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, prepositions, and sentence boundaries reduce control.
Edit each sentence for subject-verb agreement and complete clause structure, avoiding fragments beginning with 'Because.'
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IELTS Writing Task 2
There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.