There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?
Sample Response
It’s often said that “music is like magic” and it is indeed true, since music work as a divine magic for us. Music, for many of us, is a way of living. There are many who can’t live a life without listening music each day. Music is the foods of a soul to them. Music impresses us, inspires us, tells an untold story, remedy us and let us understand others. There are many different types of music almost in each language of the world and they vary from religious type to anthem and even hard rock or rap. The listeners of the music decide what to listen and it greatly depends on upon mood, time, level and age. But I believe no matter what type of music one listens, we need to listen and preserve our own traditional music hence traditional music says what we really are. There are lots of importances of music in our life. Music let us know the position of a nation against war and music it's a message that reaches to all for all over the ages. Music refreshes ourselves and inspires us to do something. With the modern communication facility, satellite channels and the internet, people today hear music from other parts of the world. Teenagers are greatly influenced by the western music and they even don’t like the traditional or country music. It’s very natural that generation will follow their own trends and choices and will accept only what they feel like to accept, but traditional music bear the old history, lifestyle and tradition of a country. And as part of education, everybody should know about his/her own tradition. So we should listen to the music that attracts us and really inspires not matter where are they from what whatever their genre are, but we should not ignore our own traditional music.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix subject agreement Original: work Suggested revision: works Why it matters: The singular subject music requires works.
- 2. Remove the article Original: a divine magic Suggested revision: divine magic Why it matters: Magic is uncountable in this use and does not take a.
- 3. Add the preposition Original: without listening music Suggested revision: without listening to music Why it matters: Listen requires the preposition to before its object.
- 4. Correct the expression Original: the foods of a soul Suggested revision: food for the soul Why it matters: Food for the soul is the fixed singular expression.
- 5. Use a parallel verb Original: remedy Suggested revision: heals Why it matters: Heals is a natural transitive verb and remains parallel with the other verbs in the list.
- 6. Fix subject agreement Original: let Suggested revision: lets Why it matters: The singular subject music requires lets.
- 7. Use natural phrasing Original: almost in each language Suggested revision: in almost every language Why it matters: Almost every is the natural quantifier in this context.
- 8. Name the music type Original: type Suggested revision: music Why it matters: Religious music clearly names the category.
- 9. Use the plural noun Original: anthem Suggested revision: anthems Why it matters: The count noun should be plural in this list of categories.
- 10. Complete the phrasal verb Original: what to listen and Suggested revision: what to listen to, and Why it matters: Listen requires to, and the comma separates the coordinated clauses.
- 11. Remove duplicate preposition Original: depends on upon Suggested revision: depends on Why it matters: Only one preposition is required after depends.
- 12. Add the preposition Original: what type of music one listens Suggested revision: what type of music one listens to Why it matters: The verb listen requires to before its object.
Suggested Rewrites
- work works
- a divine magic divine magic
- without listening music without listening to music
- the foods of a soul food for the soul
- remedy heals
- let lets
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response’s strongest feature is that it answers both questions with a consistent view: music inspires and connects people, while traditional music deserves protection because it carries national identity and history. Its main limitation is shallow, repetitive development combined with frequent lexical and grammatical errors and no paragraphing. Prioritise organising the two questions into separate developed sections and supporting each claim with a clear explanation or example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts are addressed and the preference for preserving traditional music is clear, but reasons are often listed or repeated rather than fully explained and compared with international music.
Develop one paragraph on personal and social needs for music and another comparing cultural preservation with the benefits of international music.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response moves broadly from the value of music to global influences and traditional identity, but the single paragraph, repetition and weak transitions limit progression.
Use a clear introduction, one paragraph per question and a concise conclusion that directly compares the two music forms.
Lexical Resource
Some relevant vocabulary is present, but frequent errors such as “divine magic,” “foods of a soul,” “remedy us,” “lots of importances” and “modern communication facility” reduce precision.
Use natural expressions such as “emotional comfort,” “food for the soul,” “heals,” “many benefits” and “modern communication technologies.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is usually recoverable, but errors in agreement, articles, prepositions, pronouns, plurals and clause order occur in nearly every sentence.
Check singular agreement with “music,” add required prepositions after “listen,” and build the final comparison from shorter complete clauses.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.