All university undergraduate courses should include a period of time spent studying abroad or doing a work placement. Do you think the advantages of this would outweigh the disadvantages?
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Sample Response
In recent times, educational advancement has playededucational advancement plays a substantial role in young people'schildren's maturing process. It is generally believed that universities should include a variety of exchange programs and internship opportunities for their students during the learning process, with which I personally agree.
To begin with, itTo vbegin with, It is evident that nowadays a lot of people struggle with following their chosen career paths after graduation. The main reason behind this major issue is the lack of practical knowledge and interpersonal skillssocial communication skills. In order for a person to get a suitable joba designated place at the workplace, they should be confident in their professional abilities and be able to represent themselves effectively during the initial interview.
Some people believe that studying abroad and working as an intern has a negative effect on students' development as they are exposed to some unnecessary challenges, which might hinder their educational process. I personally disagree with this idea and believe that challenging youngsters' abilities during the university years, while under constantconstants influence of theirthere supervisors, is more beneficial as it encourages them to become accustomed to difficulties that might occur during the working process.
Additionally, exchange programmes help their social development as they are motivated to communicate with peers, engage in discussions and participate in debates. This process makes them receptive to intense social interactionskeen to strong social interuptions and makes them accustomed to the environmentenvironmet where their opinions are being constantly challenged. Furthermore, studyingstuding abroad is especially essential for younger people who mainly focusfocuses on working in international companies, as itthey gives them a chance to analyze the mass market in order to offer the right services.
To sum up, students' early exposure to challenges and problems in the working environment and during social interactionsinteructions, offersoffer more benefits for their profound intellectual and social advancement, which will help them in their job searchcareer searching process.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay effectively presents a clear stance in favor of study abroad and internship programs, backing it with relevant arguments regarding career readiness and personal development. However, the progression of ideas is slightly disrupted by minor paragraphing lapses, and there are occasional spelling and grammatical inaccuracies. To reach a higher standard, focus on refining word choice and polishing sentence structure to eliminate minor slips.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response presents a clear position throughout the essay and addresses both the practical benefits and potential drawbacks of mandatory placements.
Ensure all main supporting points directly compare the scale of advantages against disadvantages to make the evaluation even more persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overall message is clear and logically ordered, though transition words and paragraph organization are occasionally slightly mechanical or misplaced.
Group related arguments together into cohesive paragraphs with clear topic sentences and smoother transition signals.
Lexical Resource
A good range of topic-specific vocabulary is used, but noticeable spelling errors and occasional word-choice inaccuracies are present.
Carefully proofread vocabulary choices and spelling to avoid mistakes like 'interuptions' or 'there' instead of 'their'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures are attempted with good general control, though occasional subject-verb agreement and typing errors occur.
Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement in complex sentences and eliminate typos like 'To vbegin with'.