Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizen themselves?
Sample Response
It is true that many countries of this world are facing different types of problems especially they have the lack of food and appropriate education. It is frequently believed that it is the responsibility of the richer country to provide these basic things to the poorer country. However, this serious issue is refuted by others. These arguments will be analysed prior to coming to a reasoned conclusion. On the one hand, today, many hold the idea that it is the moral and ethical duty of the wealthier nations to help the developing countries who are confronting the many problems such as war, famine, drought, lack of food and appropriate education system etc. For instance, many countries, Afghanistan and Iraq in particular, have serious problem with these issues. Many people of these countries are living without enough food. Moreover, the governments of these countries don’t have ample amount of money to build a suitable education system for their people. This example makes it clear that these countries would not be able to improve from this miserable condition without help. That is why many people believe that aid is indispensable for these poor countries. On the other hand, it is felt by many that the governments of the poorer countries should solve these dangerous problems for many reasons. Firstly, when the richer country gives money as a support for the poorer country, they also want to control the regimes of the poor countries, which may have brought the catastrophic effect on the underdeveloped country. Secondly, the administration of the poorer nation is not so experienced, so they maybe not able to properly utilise these supported things. Finally, most governments of the poorer countries are corrupted, so there is a great risk to misuse these supported things. For these reasons, many are against of this idea. In conclusion, after conducting these analyses, it is clear that both points of view have logical arguments. However, in my opinion, the governments of the poorer countries should take the responsibility of their people. Otherwise, the richer country will control the poorer country.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use plural country reference Original: the responsibility of the richer country Suggested revision: the responsibility of richer countries Why it matters: The claim concerns wealthy nations generally, so the plural form is required.
- 2. Use plural recipient noun Original: to the poorer country Suggested revision: to poorer countries Why it matters: The recipient group is discussed generally and should be plural.
- 3. Name disputed viewpoint Original: this serious issue is refuted Suggested revision: this view is disputed Why it matters: A viewpoint is disputed, whereas an issue itself is not refuted.
- 4. Use concise reporting verb Original: hold the idea Suggested revision: believe Why it matters: The single reporting verb expresses the same meaning naturally.
- 5. Remove duplicated meaning Original: moral and ethical duty Suggested revision: moral duty Why it matters: 'Moral' and 'ethical' duplicate the same idea in this phrase.
- 6. Use nonhuman relative pronoun Original: who Suggested revision: that Why it matters: Countries take the relative pronoun 'that' or 'which', not 'who'.
- 7. Remove unnecessary article Original: confronting the many problems Suggested revision: facing many problems Why it matters: The plural quantifier 'many' does not take 'the' here, and 'facing' is more natural.
- 8. Use natural education phrase Original: appropriate education system Suggested revision: adequate education Why it matters: The revision expresses sufficient educational provision without an awkward singular system reference.
- 9. Correct example scope Original: many countries, Afghanistan and Iraq in particular Suggested revision: some countries, particularly Afghanistan and Iraq Why it matters: Two named examples support 'some countries', while 'particularly' integrates them grammatically.
- 10. Use plural problem noun Original: problem Suggested revision: problems Why it matters: The countries face multiple listed issues, so the noun should be plural.
- 11. Use location preposition Original: of Suggested revision: in Why it matters: People living within countries are naturally described with the preposition 'in'.
- 12. Use concise funds phrase Original: don’t have ample amount of money Suggested revision: lack sufficient funds Why it matters: The revision removes an incorrect count structure and states the financial shortage directly.
Suggested Rewrites
- the responsibility of the richer country the responsibility of richer countries
- to the poorer country to poorer countries
- this serious issue is refuted this view is disputed
- hold the idea believe
- moral and ethical duty moral duty
- who that
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay discusses both positions and supports them with relevant concerns about humanitarian need, political influence, administrative capacity, and corruption. Its main limitation is that the whole response is compressed into one paragraph and frequent errors make several claims imprecise, despite generally clear meaning. The highest-priority improvement is to separate the opposing views structurally and develop the final preference with a more balanced explanation of how poorer governments could assume responsibility.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both sides are developed with relevant reasons and an example, and the conclusion gives a clear preference for poorer governments taking responsibility.
Explain how poorer governments could meet that responsibility despite limited funds, rather than relying mainly on the risk of foreign control.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a recognisable introduction, two-sided discussion, and conclusion, but the lack of paragraph breaks and mechanical sequencing weaken presentation.
Separate the introduction, each viewpoint, and the conclusion into distinct paragraphs with clearer links between reasons and consequences.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for discussing aid and governance, with some effective less common items, but frequent collocational and word-form errors reduce precision.
Use accurate phrases such as 'a lack of food', 'financial assistance', 'use the aid effectively', and 'corrupt governments'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex structures, although frequent errors with articles, plurals, agreement, and verb forms are evident throughout.
Check noun agreement and verb phrases, especially 'wealthier countries provide', 'have serious problems', and 'may not be able to use'.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizen themselves?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.