The graph below gives information about the preferred leisure activities of Australian children.
Sample Response
The given bar graph represents data on the children’s leisure activities in Australia. As is presented in the graph, watching TV/videos was universal, while bike riding and computer games were also popularboth boys and girls from five to fourteen years old prefer to watch video or TV, ride a bike and play computer games in their leisure time.
According to the graph, all boys and girlsall the boys and girls of the 5-to-14-year age group5 to 14 year age group reported watching TV or videosprefer to watch TV and video. This is the most common leisure activity among the Australian children. Computer games are the second most common activity for boys, while bike riding is close for girlsThe second most popular activity among boys and girls is playing computer games and more boys prefer to play games than girls. Bike riding is another popular leisure activity and boys do it more than girlsprefer it than the girls as about 75% of boys do itmore than 75% of boys do it while around 60% of girls do itless than 60% of girls prefer it. Interestingly, girlsInterestingly girls have more involvement in art and craftart and craft than boys and almost 60% of girlsalmost 60% girls are involved in these two activities compared to less than 40% of boysthe less than 40% boys. Skateboarding or rollerblading is the least common activity for both gendersThe least popular activity is skating and rollerblading with about 40% of boys compared with around 25% of girlswhich is preferred by boys than girls.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response gives a clear overview and identifies the dominant activities and the main gender contrast, especially equal TV/video viewing and girls’ stronger participation in art and craft. However, several comparisons are vague or inaccurate and the detail paragraph becomes crowded, so the priority is to report approximate figures carefully, group related activities, and use accurate comparative structures throughout.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The answer identifies the main activities and gender differences, including universal TV/video watching and stronger female participation in art and craft. Some figures are vague or inaccurate, especially for skating and rollerblading.
Add approximate percentages for each activity and state that boys participate more in all activities except art and craft, while TV/video is equal.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically organised with an overview and details, though the second paragraph is long and several comparisons are chained together.
Split the details into high-participation activities and lower-participation activities.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate but repetitive, with frequent “prefer” and “activity”.
Use “participation”, “proportion”, “boys outnumber girls”, and “by comparison” to vary the report.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There are recurring errors with articles, comparative structures and plural nouns, but meaning remains clear.
Use “prefer it to girls” only when comparing choices; for chart data, use “a higher proportion of boys than girls”.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below gives information about the preferred leisure activities of Australian children.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.