The bar charts below give information about the railway system in six cities in Europe.
Sample Response
The bar charts show data on the railway system in six European cities and the number of commuters these railways serve each year. At a glanceA glance at the illustration, Paris railroad is the oldest and it has the longest route. MeanwhileOn the other hand, Lisbon's railway is the busiest systemLisbon railway is the busiest railroad which serves over 1900 million passengers a year. According to the bar graph, Paris locomotive operation was established in 1863 which is the oldest among the given six cities and it now has the longest rail route, covering up above 390 km. Stockholm has the second-longest rail networksecond largest rain tracks, about 200 km, and was established in 1900. Lisbon hasis another old railway system that was built in 1927 with a 155-km routewith more than 150 km of route. The railway systems in Rome, Madrid and BerlinRome, Madrid and Berlin railway systems were built after 1970 and among these three, Berlin's is the newest and openedBerlin is the latest that was built in 2001. Madrid has the shortestsmallest railway route with only 11 km. In terms of passenger numbers, Lisbon's railway is usedAgain, Lisbon railway is used by more than 1900 million passengers per yearyears which makes it the busiest railway. Stockholm and Paris have the next two busiest railway systemsStockholm and Paris have two other busy railway systems which are used by 1191 million and 775 million travellers775 million of travellers per year. Finally, Rome, Madrid and Berlin railwaysrailroads are used by comparatively fewer commuters, belowbellow 100 million per year.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response selects and compares the main features very effectively, with accurate coverage of construction dates, route lengths, and passenger totals across all six cities. Its main weakness is language control, as awkward railway terminology and recurring form errors reduce precision despite clear meaning. Prioritise more natural data-reporting vocabulary and careful proofreading for plurals, prepositions, and spelling.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview identifies the oldest, longest, and busiest systems, and the detailed figures accurately cover all six cities.
Refine the reporting by explicitly contrasting the newest systems' short routes with their relatively low passenger totals.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has clear progression from overview to route information and then passenger data, though paragraphing is limited and some linking is repetitive.
Divide the overview and the two data groups into distinct paragraphs for a more polished structure.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonable range of comparative language, but awkward terms and slips such as 'locomotive operation,' 'rain tracks,' and 'bellow' reduce precision.
Use consistent terms such as 'railway system,' 'route length,' and 'annual passengers,' then proofread spelling.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied sentence structures communicate the data clearly, although errors with plurals, prepositions, and clause construction recur.
Edit phrases such as 'per years,' 'million of travellers,' and 'A glance at the illustration' into grammatically complete forms.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The bar charts below give information about the railway system in six cities in Europe.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.