The graph shows a comparison in the pulse rate changes between two different individuals of different ages and professions.
Sample Response
The line graph compares the pulse rate changes of two individuals, Mabel and Albert. In particular, physical exercise raises the heart ratesescalates the heart beats of two individuals who differ in age and professionof different ages and professions differently. In this case, the young athlete'syoung athlete's pulse rate is less intense than that of a 36-year-old office workera mid-thirties office employee. According to the line graph, 36-year-old36 years old office worker Mabel'soffice worker, Mabel's initial pulse rate was about 65between 62-65 , compared with exactly 80 for Albertwhich was precisely 80 in the case of Albert, a 26-year-olda 26 years old former college athlete. After one minute's exercise, both of their heart beats escalated to roughly 80 per minute. AfterIn two minutes, Mabel's pulse rate increased steeply and reached 150 while Albert's heart rateheart beat rate at that time was 120. In the next minute, Mabel's pulse rate dipped sharply to 100 per minute while Albert's pulse rate fell slightlyslightly fell and reached 110reached to 110. In the final minute, both pulse rates fellboth of their pulse rates plummeted and it was 80 for MabelMable and 60 for Albert.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response accurately reports nearly all plotted values and follows the time sequence clearly, with useful comparative language. Its main limitation is an overgeneralised overview claiming the younger athlete's rate is less intense, although Albert is higher at several points; replace this with a precise summary of Mabel's sharper peak and Albert's steadier overall pattern.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Almost all data points are reported accurately, but the overview inaccurately implies that Albert's pulse rate is generally lower than Mabel's.
Summarise the contrasting patterns accurately by highlighting Mabel's much sharper peak and Albert's steadier rise and fall.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report progresses logically through the five time points, although presenting everything in one paragraph weakens the organisation.
Separate the overview from the chronological details and group related comparisons into clear paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
A useful range of trend vocabulary is used, but several choices, including "less intense" and "escalates the heart beats," are imprecise or unnatural.
Use precise graph collocations such as "pulse rate rose," "peaked at," and "declined to" throughout.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied sentence structures, but recurring errors in age modifiers, articles, possessives, and verb complementation reduce control.
Correct forms such as "a 36-year-old office worker," "a young athlete's pulse rate," and "reached 110".
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph shows a comparison in the pulse rate changes between two different individuals of different ages and professions.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.